Day 138

Something learned:

I sometimes wonder if it is a personality trait or a personal shortcoming that I don't aspire to move up the corporate ladder and become less of a personal contributor and more of a strategic leader.

I really just don't WANT to. And maybe I'll regret it in thirty years. I sometimes look back on the opportunities I've had over the years and mentally kick myself for not taking them. But if I were honest, I am probably happier today for it, albeit with a slightly less illustrious career.

I chose happiness.

Something I want to get better at:

Making an impact. In the same vein as yesterday's thread, I spend a lot of energy looking inwards towards my nuclear family. For my sake and to set an example for my kids, I want to start looking outward a little more.

I donate money to a few causes. I try to be an ethical consumer. Surely there is more I can do though.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Getting everything I needed to do done before leaving.
2. A supportive hubby who let's me get away once a year for these conferences.
3. First floor parking in the airport garage.
4. TSA Precheck making airport security tolerable again.
5. On time departure. In an hour. I hope :)

Looking forward to:

A bed to myself for the next few days :)

Day 103

Something learned:

Don't wait for life to be perfect before starting to enjoy life.

Life is not perfect, and will never be. People make mistakes, accidents happen, people get sick, things break. This stuff is part of life, and if you consider them exceptional circumstances and hold your breath for the time when whatever bad stuff in your life is done, so that you can really start living, you're never going to be happy.

This kind of thinking was much harder for me to accept when I was younger and I saw the world in black and white. I considered my world blemished and blackened, and thought that everyone else around me must be living perfect lives. Eventually, I learned to find the joy in daily life, and release frustration and anger from the crappy stuff. Along the way, I've come to suspect that other people's lives probably aren't as perfect as they seem either. But I do wish them all every happiness.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Finding cute, affordable summer dresses for myself and the kid.
2. An offer of reciprocal babysitting from a mommy-friend. I'm surprised by how excited I am by this.
3. Suddenly recalling the name of a french song I was trying to remember from my college days that has been bothering me for months. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXKkxZ7U-lo
4. Husband taking the kid to get boba so I could get an hour of peace.
5. Trying the new chinese place nearby and finding it not altogether terrible.

Looking forward to:

I want to go diamond hunting in Arkansas. I went garnet hunting in Mexico, but chollas attacked us. Arkansas should be a tad easier to get to :)

Day 73

Something learned:

Life is too darned short to spend it around people who are angry or negative. I used to hang on to every person who passed through my life. As I got older, I finally understood that it's ok to let someone go if they bring less value than they cost. I don't like being around angry people, or people who swear or complain. Being around them affects my ability to be happy and costs me my peace of mind. I walk away, and am happier for it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Finding a new yummy new lunch place when I wandered out the office for food.
2. Sriracha sauce seems to be back in stock
3. Free donuts at work. Plus coupons for 3 more free donuts at the store.
4. Husband doing the dishes.
5. Chocolate ice cream lifting my grumpy mood.

Looking forward to:

There's so much I want to learn in life. I get to look forward to all of it! Here's some things I would love to learn:

• Urban running
• Trapeze, aerials, silks
• Pole dancing
• Tap dancing
• Belly dancing
• Flamenco
• Fly a plane
• Dry suit diving
• Rock climbing
• Graphic design
• Financial planning
• Photo editing
• Fancy cooking

Day 61

Something learned:

The kid had a bottle of bubbles and was happily blowing bubbles. She noticed a table nearby where people were selling bubble-blowing guns. She started sulking that her bubble bottle was "nothing" compared to the bubble guns.

What I really wanted to explain, (but didn't have the language to put in terms that she could understand) was that there is always going to be someone with something better than what you have, but that you shouldn't let it diminish the value that it brings to you, or you'll forever be unhappy.

I think if more people understood it, people would care so much less about "keeping up with the Joneses."

Today I was thankful for:

1. The patience of all my kid's teachers - I continue to marvel at their gentle yet persistent way of developing her skills and knowledge.

2. Meeting my cousin P today. I love hanging out with her! 

3. Getting a Chinese New Year lantern decoration to hang up in the house

4. Finding roasted chestnuts at the Chinese New Year Festival

5. Reading Escape from Camp 14. It's a powerful book.

Looking forward to:

Going to the Frozen Sing-a-long with my kid in a couple of weeks!

Day 15

Today I was grateful for:

1. It's December, and I can now sing carols!

2. A fun morning at the Magic Castle Family Brunch -- Balloonacy and Arthur Trace are awesome

3. A clean house

4. Chocolate Lava Cake at C&O
5. The 4-day weekend

Something learned:

Some years back, I came to the conclusion that for me, being happy was within my conscious control. Granted, it's not quite as simple as thinking "I want to be happy!" and having it be true.

How unhappy I felt really depended on a complex equation that takes into account many different aspects of my life: dissatisfactions, disappointments, etc. Slowly, I learned to rewrite that equation; to start seeing the positives in my life instead of the negatives and to not take personally the things that I couldn't control. When it comes down to it, whatever results in happiness, happens purely in my head, which is why I consider it a conscious choice.

This article is one of many that support my opinion on this: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/ten-things-stop-caring-about-you-want-happier.html

Harking back to a familiar theme, what made this possible was my self-esteem recovering enough for me to start making decisions in my own self interest. Making better choices. Choosing to be happy.

A hope: 

I hope that I figure out how to improve my people skills as I get older. Sometimes, I still feel like there's a cultural barrier that prevents people from correctly understanding my intentions.