Day 113

Something learned:

There's no such thing as a free lunch. My dad was always skeptical of offers that sounded too good to be true. I used to think that he was just being ornery.

When I was a teenager and approached by a "free modelling school", I jumped at the chance. In hindsight, they were just trying to sell me expensive professional makeup. I bought $600 of makeup, learned how to apply it, and had an hour's worth of tips on how to pose. I wasn't selected to be represented, but I doubt if anyone actually did. On the up side, I still use the makeup methods that they taught me, because they really do sculpt my face into something model-like. It served me well through 30-40 ballroom competitions and a number of glamorous parties. So I don't feel like I was cheated overall, even though my father probably did.

Well, these days, I make sure to look for the catch. Sometimes I still take the bait, but it's always with the knowledge that I'm aware of, and ok with buying, whatever they're selling me.

Something I'd like to get better at:

Resilience.

I feel like crap whenever I make a mistake or fail to live up to expectations. I get uncertain of myself and pull back from doing things. My imposter syndrome starts screaming at me. I start doubting all the self esteem I have felt, and anything positive that I've said.

Maybe I just need to convince myself that it's ok to not be perfect.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Husband promising me that if he snores, all I have to do is wake him up.

2. Getting to attend an informative talk by Betsy Brown Braun and getting a free copy of her new book

3. Finding some great kid-friendly pitchers so she can pour herself drinks!

4. Husband doing the dishes

5. Going to bed early.

Looking forward to:

I want to make fondue. I own a fondue pot that I've not used in years.

Day 28

Something learned:

When I was young, I thought I knew it all. My father seemed so over-skeptical and suspicious of things. He always thought that people were out to con me.  In hindsight, I think he was right. If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Nowadays, I'm always looking for, and finding, the angle. Years ago, I was approached to to be a model, and my father was instantly skeptical. I just wanted to be thought of as pretty, so I went along with the modelling course and audition. I think now, it was mostly a clever ruse to sell me some overpriced makeup.

I shudder to think about when it'll be my turn some day to be the suspicious parent and my gullible, innocent child will be taken for a ride.

Today I was grateful for:


1. My rain boots getting some use and keeping my feet dry while helping the kid shower after swim lesson
2. Yummy lunch and fluff ice with friends
3. My car having enough charge to get me home
4. Chili crab to relieve homesickness
5. Seeing the lights at Christmas Tree Lane

A hope:

I want to see Mount Rushmore some day.