Day 133

Something learned:

Fairness is not everyone getting the same thing, it's everyone getting what they need.

I think this concept is illustrated quite well here.. http://www.portlandoregon.gov/oehr/article/449547?

I sometimes hear people who belong to the majority of a group question why there are special things for the minorities. E.g. at college, someone actually asked why all the foreign students had societies, e.g. the Singaporean Students Society, but the American students could not. Or why there needs to be so much attention focused on generating female interest in math or science, or the game industry.

I am sure this explanation will come in handy at some point when my kid screams "that's not fair!" but then again... sometimes the right response to that will be that "Life isn't fair." But that's a lesson for another day!

Edit to add: Looks like I've posted on this before. Well, this picture helps my understanding of it so I've learned more!

Something I'd like to get better at:

Sleeping. I can't seem to get myself to bed at a reasonable time. Ironically, I am late posting this because I was tired and went to bed "early" and I hadn't posted yet. But outside of that I wish I could figure out a consistent going to bed schedule. I wake up naturally often enough, but too often I have to exhaust myself before falling asleep.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Lots of chocolate and plastic eggs from the easter egg hunt at work (my co-hunter does not like chocolate)
2. Meeting a previously FB-only friend in person, and managing to salvage the visit despite some initial disappointment
3. Despite being delayed by massive traffic, we were still the first ones arriving for TKD class.
4. Yummy home-made cheese fondue with the family (despite the kid disagreeing)
5. Husband putting away the dishes and fixing me chocolate ice cream

Looking forward to:

Getting through my audition callback on Friday. I don't want to do it, but that's precisely the reason I'm making myself do it. Builds character to be able to do your best even when you don't want to, doesn't it?

Day 69

Something learned:

Many years ago when I was about 12 or 13, I was on the bus next to a lady who got into a conversation with me about my school. She found out that I was in the nationwide gifted program and she asked me how it was different from regular classes. I had no way of answering that question and it continued to nag at me. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question, but I had only one point of view to work from after all.

The other thing that stayed with me from that conversation through the years was her asking me why I and my classmates should receive such special treatment (smaller classes, project work, etc) over all the other students in the country. I also had no answer for that at the time.

I continued to think about it over the years, and came to the conclusion that more educational resources were devoted to us as a sort of investment; that we were expected to pay back this debt to society by going on to achieve great things.

By that yardstick, I sometimes wondered if I failed expectations by firstly moving out of the country, and secondly by deciding to pursue a unextraordinary career path.

In recent years, after learning that fairness is less about everyone getting the same thing and more about everyone getting what they need, I've come to think that perhaps it was just fair that the GEP provided the type of educational environment that those kids needed, without which many would have probably languished in classrooms as the oddballs, the troublemakers or the overlooked.

Even so, those questions from a chance meeting on a bus one afternoon affected me more than I've realized. For years after that, I was always sensitive in making reference to the schools I was attending, for fear of resented, or coming across as elitist. I do that now with my kid's school for the same reason.

Thankfully I have peer groups where I can let down my guard and stop being so sensitive about it. Or maybe someday I'll just get over it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Awesome brunch with family
2. Laughing till I was in tears and my belly ached when the kid accidentally sang "Happy Derpday to you" in derpy voice
3. The existence of allergy drugs that normally prevent me from being as miserable as I was today around the cats.
4. Delicious Superbowl snacks and food at the party.

5. Kid going to bed early, so I had a quiet evening

Looking forward to:

Only a few more weeks of hubby hogging the TV for his work every night...

Day 49

Something learned:

When the kiddo loses a privilege like dessert over misbehavior, these days she exclaims that "it's not fair!"

When I was a kid, I thought that fairness meant everyone gets the same thing. Now I've come to believe that fairness means that everyone getting getting what they need. I'm just having a hell of a time making the kid understand it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Managing to get tickets AND babysitting for a movie night with hubby next week.
2. Lots of encouragement for my purging before-and-after
3. Being proud of kiddo doing well in the new level of TKD classes that she got promoted to.
4. TV shows coming off their winter hiatuses (hiatii?)
5. Foot rub from the husband while we watched TV

Looking forward to:

Chinese New Year. Made plans to see family, and other Singaporeans. It's not exactly the same, but will still be nice.