Day 142 and 143

Ever notice that some days it's hard to do it all? Yesterday was a little like that.

Yesterday I was thankful for:

1. That I didn't spill too much gas on my favorite hoodie. Hopefully it can be saved.
2. Waking up and making it to the airport on time to go home
3. I didn't have to wait at all for a parking shuttle so I could head home quick
4. Chatting to a bunch of other parents at a birthday party
5. Seeing my in-laws for dinner

Something learned:

Learn people's names. When someone else makes the effort to learn my name, I feel a lot more respected. I try to do the same for others, though sometimes it's awkward to ask. It's worthwhile though. I sometimes even make a dossier of pictures and names to assist my unreliable memory.

Something I want to get better at:

I wish sometimes that I was more extroverted. It's so hard for me to go up to someone and start talking to them, even when I know them. I want to get better at connecting with folks.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Getting the house tidied up before leaving for work
2. Finding a bunch of cool books to buy at the kid's book fair
3. Meeting to kid's librarian in person
4. Hubby decorating some awesome shoes for the kid

5. Figuring out how much postage to use on a card without a weighing scale

Looking forward to:

Seeing the kid's reaction to her new shoes

Day 99

Something learned:

A real date night is not just an outing with the husband sans kid. We've had regular, albeit infrequent, adult-only dinners since becoming parents, but I've found it extremely hard to get out of Mommy mode. I still am thinking about the todo list, the chores, the household minutia.

A true date night requires reconnecting, reflecting, rediscovering, relaxing. On our most recent date, I made a concious effort to relax and be playful. It's hard to play when I'm "the grown up" and constantly on watch. I also got us to reconnect with deeper conversation (not just a discussion of the week's grocery list) and where we reflected on our relationship.

I'd forgotten about that aspect of dating where you work hard to forge a connection with the other person. Even a well established relationship benefits from that renewal.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Crawfish at work for Fat Tuesday!
2. Free stuff from work again
3. No negative report from the kid's teacher today
4. Getting the global high score on Trip (Threes Android clone)
5. Hubby got the 360 working so I can play my Zumba game tomorrow

Looking forward to:

Recreating our wedding cake. The guy who did our cake sold his restaurant but I tracked him down and hubby called him for the recipe.

It was awesome cake, but we didn't even do a tasting. It was provided with the venue. We got so lucky!

Day 21

Something learned:

I've always known that I wanted to marry someone honest, but I didn't actually learn to really trust until after I was married.

It was my husband who called me on it, when because of my own insecurities, I would ask him questions that showed a lack of faith in him and his actions.  I don't actually remember the specific questions, but I do remember the feeling of surprise when he challenged me if I thought that he would have married me if he wasn't committed to me. I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't have, and something finally clicked in my head.

Unless you believe in yourself, it's hard to understand that another person can believe in you too.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Getting the Christmas tree up
2. A fun afternoon at J's birthday party with friends
3. Dancing with my husband to a live band under chandeliers
4. Getting an honorable mention for my costume
5. An awesome evening with friends at the holiday party

A hope:

That hubby's ankle issues aren't permanent, so that we can go dancing together again.

Day 20

Something learned:

Stand for something or stand for nothing at all.

I think the first time I took a stand for my principles was after college back in Singapore, at a friend's wedding. They served sharks' fin soup, which is expected of any decent wedding. Without going too much into it, I oppose shark finning, so I set aside the bowl of soup and left it.

Growing up, I was never taught to, not did I see examples of people, holding non-mainstream views. I don't know if it was just my family, or if it was society, but I grew up shying away from holding strong views.

I learned to come into my own in college, living away from home. It was empowering, to make choices over what I thought was right and wrong, and not just what parents or governments told me to think. I thought it important to be my own person. I thought important to stand for ideals -- to do what's right for the world, for my family, for my health, for ethics. I'm proud to hold my views, and grateful for the freedom to do so.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Passing the MOOC songwriting course I took
2. My singing teacher telling me that I've been making good progress
3. The kid getting her first taste of programming (one can hope)

4. Getting chocolate in the mail

5. Spending the evening watching Before Sunrise and Before Sunset with hubby

A dream:

Traveling the world with hubby after the kid grows up.

Day 9

Today I was grateful for:

1. The first parent-teacher conference of the year not yielding any unexpected surprises.
2. Being fortunate enough to be a person giving help to, instead of receiving help from, Stop Hunger Now. (There was a meal packing event at work today)
3. The kid's art project listing things she was thankful for, included "her family"
4. Extreme-couponing to save about 60% on an order.
5. Going to bed with a mostly empty to-do list.

Something learned:

When I was younger, I believed that relationships took work -- nasty, dirty work, where it was perfectly normal to have to work through issues in painful, messy arguments, accompanied by angst and sacrifice. The truth of it was, that when I finally got together with my husband, there was a feeling of coming home. Where you faced things together as a unit, not as a test to see whether you were compatible. Where disagreement isn't accompanied by worries of whether it meant you could never work things out.

I remember a friend, saying many years ago, that love was choosing to be committed. It's not a mystical force between two people, nor is it a flutter of the heart, and it's not finding that perfect person that fits your discriminating standards. It's finding a person with whom you're committed to building a life together.

Years ago, everyone I knew seemed to have relationship drama. These days, perhaps we've mostly grown up, but I encounter the drama a lot less. I guess age is just what it takes.

A hope: 

I spent the evening cleaning my desk. Again. It's quite a fervent hope that I will one day conquer my clutter problem.

Day 7

Today I was thankful for:

1. The husband being a good sharer and teaching the kid to play Zoo Tycoon on his new Xbox One.

2. The kid successfully signing a stack of holiday cards without even complaining

3. Watching the Doctor Who 50th anniversary special with my family which I enjoyed thoroughly

4. Putting together photos for a 2014 calendar and remembering the happy moments of the past year

5. Date night with the husband to see Thor. Love the Marvel superheros!

Something learned:

The older I get, the more I find old sayings to be true. "A place for everything and everything in it's place" for example. Putting things away is much easier when you know where they have to go. It takes five times as long if you have to stare at each thing and figure out a home for it when you pick it off the floor. I say this as I'm thinking about the dirty dishes in the kitchen of course ... sigh.

A hope:

Now that the kid is older, maybe hubby and I can work on our social life again. I don't think we've hosted a gathering here since she was born.

I recognize the set pieces now