Day 69

Something learned:

Many years ago when I was about 12 or 13, I was on the bus next to a lady who got into a conversation with me about my school. She found out that I was in the nationwide gifted program and she asked me how it was different from regular classes. I had no way of answering that question and it continued to nag at me. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question, but I had only one point of view to work from after all.

The other thing that stayed with me from that conversation through the years was her asking me why I and my classmates should receive such special treatment (smaller classes, project work, etc) over all the other students in the country. I also had no answer for that at the time.

I continued to think about it over the years, and came to the conclusion that more educational resources were devoted to us as a sort of investment; that we were expected to pay back this debt to society by going on to achieve great things.

By that yardstick, I sometimes wondered if I failed expectations by firstly moving out of the country, and secondly by deciding to pursue a unextraordinary career path.

In recent years, after learning that fairness is less about everyone getting the same thing and more about everyone getting what they need, I've come to think that perhaps it was just fair that the GEP provided the type of educational environment that those kids needed, without which many would have probably languished in classrooms as the oddballs, the troublemakers or the overlooked.

Even so, those questions from a chance meeting on a bus one afternoon affected me more than I've realized. For years after that, I was always sensitive in making reference to the schools I was attending, for fear of resented, or coming across as elitist. I do that now with my kid's school for the same reason.

Thankfully I have peer groups where I can let down my guard and stop being so sensitive about it. Or maybe someday I'll just get over it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Awesome brunch with family
2. Laughing till I was in tears and my belly ached when the kid accidentally sang "Happy Derpday to you" in derpy voice
3. The existence of allergy drugs that normally prevent me from being as miserable as I was today around the cats.
4. Delicious Superbowl snacks and food at the party.

5. Kid going to bed early, so I had a quiet evening

Looking forward to:

Only a few more weeks of hubby hogging the TV for his work every night...