Day 96

Something learned:

You don't know what you have until you have something to compare it to.

I was in a special academic program in school, and when I was asked what was different about it from regular classes, I had no idea, since I hadn't taken any.

Until I lived away from home, I wasn't aware of the things I loved about it.

None of the things I've posted so far about learning, I would have known I knew, if not for having observed the opposite. Even negative experience can be valuable.

Today I was thankful for:
1. Vent cleaning getting moved earlier and taking only 20min so we could all head out together
2. Making it to the symphony on time
3. The kid humming the 1812 overture all afternoon
4. Lunch at Roscoes Chicken and Waffles, without a wait!
5. Hubby getting his car back from the service center this evening

Looking forward to:

Getting my own car back from the body shop. I miss it!

Day 95

Something learned:

As a kid, I didn't practice piano very much. I was reasonably good at computers and chess, and took part in math competitions because it was something my brain worked well in. I did things I was good at, and dropped what I wasn't. As a result, I never actually worked hard at something I wasn't good at. I never practiced at something just to attain a passably decent skill level.

Now I push myself to struggle and practice (e.g. in singing), because I'm trying to teach my child the value of practice. I keep her playing her violin and taekwondo even though she knows she isn't good, because she has been told that practice will get her to improve. She is not relying on natural talent, and I believe that this will make her resilient. More resilient than me at least.

Just tonight I confessed to my husband that I didn't think I could draw very well, and he pointed out that it's not something I practice. I know he's right. It's not just about innate skill, and hopefully my child will learn this lesson better than me.

Today I was thankful for:

1. A nice quiet day at home
2. When I asked the game store clerk about Titanfall, he asking me whether I worked on the game. Equality!
3. Got a new Zumba game to work out with at home.
4. Wrote and drew a bunch today
5. Cleared and rearranged 3 cubbies of our shelving unit

Looking forward to:

Bringing the kid to the orchestra tomorrow

Day 94

Something learned:

Make it easy for someone to help, and they will. 

People are busy, and do not have time to read a long essay and try and decipher what it is you need of them. When I email a person with a request, I write concisely and try to be very specific about what information or action I'm asking for. I believe that people generally enjoy being helpful, after all.

When I employ this tactic with customer service, I find it gets my point across effectively and occasionally even gets me some freebies.

So far so good!

Today I was thankful for:

1. Meeting my main work goals for the quarter
2. Getting the hotel reservation I was hoping for. Disneyland here we come!
3. The kid bringing home her valentine's day candy. Mmmm
4. Reconnecting with an old friend
5. Husband finding me a 3s clone to play

Looking forward to:

I made a fitness plan. Hope I'll be able to stick to it!

Day 93

Something learned:

The way to get what you want out of life is to know what you want. And then always be working towards it.

I think I was about ten when I answered the question, "What do you want to be in life?" with "Happy."

It's still true today. Granted, it's more complicated than having an infinite amount of chocolate and getting foot rubs. Happiness for me, is a number of things -- family, friends, experiences, accomplishments, a stress-free life, lifelong learning, fulfilling all my roles (daughter, sister, mother, wife) well. I don't want to be rich or famous. I want to live in a way that's consistent with my values.

I don't presume that everybody has the same goal in life, but I do believe that each person's life will be more satisfying if they knew what their goal was, and allow it to guide them in their choices.

Today I was grateful for:

1. The key fob still working despite being left in the pocket of the jeans I washed yesterday
2. Realizing that I was NOT 30 minutes late for the meeting, but rather 30 minutes early.
3. Free chocolates from Google
4. Purging the freezer, lots of space in there now
5. Husband getting the info for how to reproduce our wedding cake

Looking forward to:

Taking a day off on Friday. All for myself :D

Day 92

Something learned:

Secrets and surprises are completely different things.

A secret is when you conceal something, often for the purpose of staying out of trouble.

A surprise is something that you intend to reveal later, usually for the purpose of delighting someone.

It sometimes still shocks me that I didn't learn this until so late in life. We have a no secrets rule in our house. I can go further into why, but that's a post for another day. Surprises are awesome, but secrets are not allowed. And this definition is simple enough that even my kid can tell the difference.

Today I was thankful for:

1. More than half of the kid's summer has now been registered for.
2. Getting the tax stuff off to the accountant.
3. Free donut.
4. Finding enough stuff at home for kid's food drive at school
5. Hubby coming home and taking over stuff since I was in too much pain to get out of bed

Looking forward to:

Tomorrow. Some days, they exist to make the next day seem so much better. Today's one of those days.

Day 91

Something learned:

In Chinese, the words for mental illness translate as "spirit disease", as in ghostly spirits. Basically, mental issues are not well understood or tolerated. Either you were perfectly normal, or you were crazy, there was no social acceptance of any degree of mental struggles. No depression. No syndromes. No disorders. There is batshit insane (and locked up in an asylum), and there is normal (and you deal with everything yourself).

I remember first realizing this mentality of mine when talking to a friend in college in the US about a certain traumatic incident in my past, and he suggested seeking therapy for it. My instinctive reaction was, "A psychiatrist? That's only for crazy people!" I never did seek therapy for that issue, but it took me many years to work through it. Many destructive, emotionally wasted years.

Much later in life, I saw a counselor for the first time for a completely unrelated issue, and for a few weeks, I had a skilled, impartial professional guiding me through a rough period, helping me unravel the mental tangle I had gotten myself into. By then, my viewpoint on psychiatric therapy had done a complete reversal. It was brought into even sharper relief during a discussion I had with someone from home. It was about a person whose self-destructive symptoms were being treated, but not her depression, and it seemed obvious to me that it should be, but my conversation partner was not so convinced, and dismissed it as "holistic treatment" which back home is synonymous with "quack medicine".

I had come from a place where I thought I was so broken, and struggled to stay whole against the world. I found my strength inside of me, and understand now that the root of my happiness and sanity lie at a strong, integrated mental and emotional core. The difference is night and day, and I feel sad that so many dismiss psychiatric treatment as only for "completely insane people", while they struggle internally with their issues, that manifest in so many obstacles and limits against a happy and fulfilling life.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Getting space for the kid in Lego, Scratch and game design summer camps
2. Chocolate ice cream and Oreo chunks at work
3. All my work for this quarter's launch is out for review and it's still February
4. Finding out my lost credit card is safely at the restaurant

5. Hubby being willing set up the new Nest thermostat as well as retrieve my wayward credit card

Looking forward to:

Just booked a one night farmstay. W00t!

Day 90

Something learned:

I heard a great line at a talk the other day. "In Hollywood, ideas are like sperm." There are a million of them for every one that makes it, and that one had to go a long way to get there.

I particularly liked that line because I used to think good ideas were the secret to success, and not just in Hollywood. Eventually I came to understand that ideas are actually rather worthless because so many of them don't get that backbreaking work put in on that long journey with no promises, and they just die an idea, nothing more.

The ability to complete a project, or successfully resolve a series of problems in pursuit of a goal, is ultimately far more important than just having ideas.

Today I was thankful for :

1. Finally fixing our TiVo
2. Spending time with my cousin P.
3. Getting a ton of good info at the summer camp fair
4. Some alone time to fold laundry and watch a DVD
5. A very sweet gift from my daughter, just because

Looking forward to:

Summer and wearing skirts!