Day 102

Something learned:

Don't compare yourself to others.

Firstly, when they are successful, you feel like a failure by comparison. And if they are a loved one, you can't truly be happy for them when the comparison only serves to make you look bad.

Second and more importantly, it distracts you from your own goals.

I used to compare myself to others. I remember bringing home a test and announcing proudly that I had gotten the second highest score in class. In hindsight, the response I got is laughably predictable, "Why not first?" But at the time, it frustrated me that instead of my own accomplishment being recognized, it was relegated to a missed expectation.

Eventually, I learned that the only measure of success that mattered was my own. By understanding myself well and knowing my own goals, I can gauge my own success by a metric that made a difference to me. The hard part is of course, setting your own goals, but that's a story for another day.

Today I was thankful for:

1. The 12 song routine I selected for Zumba 360 including a cool down soon at the end. Good design!
2. Getting my team together for Dash 6!
3. Chorus at work getting back together. I get to sing!

4. Getting a table at Nanbankan despite not having a reservation

5. Watching Catching Fire with hubby with Google Play credit

Looking forward to:

I had an idea to bring my parents on vacation somewhere awesome. I just need to figure out where and when now.

Day 66

Something learned:

A discussion arose out of yesterday's post, that reminded me of a lesson I learned after being declared the US Sudoku Champion. The reason people say "May the best man win" is because the best man doesn't always win.

Thomas Snyder and I were both in the finals for the 3rd year in a row. For the 3rd time, he finished before I did, and I could hear the applause through my ear protection. I continued plodding through my own solution, finishing about 4 minutes later. When I took off my earmuffs and went to shake Tom's hand, I found out that I had won because he had made an error in his final solution. For quite a while after that, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I didn't deserve to win, since I wasn't the fastest solver. But it eventually sunk in that such is the reality of competition. It's a snapshot of a single performance in time, and besides plain skill, so many other factors come into play. There may well be some other competition that I might deserve to win, but won't. I'll take the win now.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Lunch with old teammates who are always fun to be with.
2. I'll never take hot water for granted again. I took the 3rd cold shower of my life and it was MISERABLE.
3. Getting to talk to my parents to wish them a happy new year.
4. Getting the kid to pose for a new year picture.
5. Husband went out at night to get me chocolate ice cream from the store, and I'm not even pregnant.

Looking forward to:

Chinese New Year banquet dinner with Club Singapura on Saturday!

Day 59

Something learned:

A lot of my competitiveness was rooted in insecurity. That burning need to prove myself better, to validate myself. Today someone was talking shit to me. I was tempted to fire back, when I realized that my retort would have probably hurt (albeit true), and that I had no need to prove myself better. I'm glad to be in that place where I'm happy with myself. But that won't stop me from competing in contests of skill.. I just don't actually need to win anymore.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Being able to order my spinach omelet just the way I like it in the work cafeteria

2. Finishing my online lectures and homework for the week

3. Getting out of work in time to pick up the kid

4. Getting the kid to both her activities on time

5. Finishing my todo list and being able to relax with a book.

Looking forward to:

I think I'm gonna try to audition for a chorus group.

Day 22

Something learned:

It wasn't until my  third year of competing that I finally won the US Sudoku Championship. It was a tumultuous final round -- of the other 2 guys, one was eventually disqualified for cheating, and the other, Tom had beaten me the previous 2 years, and finished many minutes before me. However, he had made a mistake in his final solution and ended up being penalized, and I was declared the winner. The victory felt hollow, since I knew Tom to be the faster solver.

Eventually, I learned that winning a competition wasn't just about pure skill. I realized that many other aspects can factor into a victory such as preparation, persistence and attention to detail; occasionally even luck. Conversely, an opponent seeming more skilled, is not reason enough to give up. You just never know!

Today I was grateful for:

1. My kid being on her way to becoming a better swimmer than I ever was.
2. My singing recital going well (I stayed on key, mostly)
3. The kid's violin recital going well (she didn't get derailed)
4. Husband going out for groceries and takeout dinner so I could remain in my jammies.
5. Kid making sure she got and gave a hug and kiss to each of us before bed.

A hope:

I would like to take a cruise to Alaska, and maybe see the Northern Lights.