Short break

I find it difficult to sustain projects for a long time. This week, I'm taking a break from my routines to rejuvenate and tackle some things that I can't get to normally. Will be back soon!

Day 41

Something learned:

Lead by example.

The kid is way too observant and way too stubborn to let it go if I were to do something I told her not to do. (I've argued exceptions for things like scary or inappropriate movies for her age) Generally, I've tried to clean up my act -- eat my vegetables, meet my obligations etc.

I admit my mistakes or personal struggles e.g. my poor dental health from childhood sugar consumption. It's almost funny when she uses me as a cautionary tale when I remind her not to eat too much sweet stuff.

Being a parent made me a better person overall.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Getting in a few last minutes at the pool with the kid
2. Making it on Toy Story Midway Mania
3. That the kid's sprained ankle didn't end up  preventing her from walking after a couple of hours
4. Making it to the airport on time
5. Decent dinner in the terminal

A hope:

To bring my kid to Washington DC when she's old enough to appreciate it.

Day 40

Something learned:

Love languages. People show love in different ways.. With words, with presents, with presence, by being supportive, with effort, providing security etc... and any combination thereof. Conversely, people have different things that make them feel loved. Knowing that these differences may exist makes it easier to appreciate that someone may be trying to show love, even if you don't feel loved because it's not in the love language you need.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Warm weather
2. Free family photo with Pluto and Minnie
3. Riding a bunch of new interesting rides at Epcot
4. A wonderful Candlelight Processional show
5. Watching fireworks

A hope:

To dive a cenote.

Day 39

Something learned:

Unless I'm using a mnemonic or concentrating hard, I forget things very quickly. That makes lying very difficult because the key to lying effectively is to be consistent.

My lesson was not to lie. Also, I just don't want to deal with potential fallout. Honesty: more than just being the moral choice, it is the convenient choice as well!

*wink*

Today I was thankful for:

1. Christmas with my family
2. Awesome Princess breakfast
3. Great weather
4. Fastpass+ means no lines!
5. Kid staying up so that we could see fireworks

A hope:

That I outgrow insomnia someday.

Day 38

Something learned:

Despite her young age, the kid is articulate and holds strong opinions. I forget that, even though she claims to know what she does or does not like, I sometimes know better. This also occasionally applies to what hubby thinks is OK for the kid.

I must assert Mom Authority more in the future.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Finding a special edition holiday pin with our resort name on it for my collection
2. Riding all the Seuss rides with no lines
3. Butterbeer at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter
4. Fun day at Islands of Adventure
5. Christmas Eve with my family

A hope:

It was a cold day. I'm really looking forward to summer, when we can actually go swimming.

Happy holidays to everyone!

Day 37

Something learned:

Thanks to my parent's close relationships with their siblings, I've found my cousins to be extremely warm despite seeing them about once every three years.

I've learned to treasure family, even as distant as second cousins. (Haven't met third cousins yet) Now if only we weren't scattered over three continents...

Today I was thankful for:

1. No travel snags
2. Yummy dinner at Fulton's
3. Magicbands being awesome
3. Riding a boat back to the hotel
5. Fun times in the hotel pool, jacuzzi and slide

A hope:

That someday I learn to relax when traveling instead of setting goals for myself.

Day 36

Something learned:

Don't travel with check in luggage. Give yourself way even more time than you think you need. I learned these lessons before today. You'd think I'd have remembered.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Having my family all together even as travel disaster happens, and being sick at home instead of in some random city
2. My family not blaming me even though I feel responsible for not making us leave earlier
3. The Parking Spot not charging for parking since we missed our flight
4. Successfully canceling or rescheduling plans because of our delay
5. Yummy brunch at The Castaway

A hope:

Less anxiety in my life would be nice.

Day 35

Something learned:

The strongest motivation has to come from within. 

People used to ask me whether MIT was a competitive environment, and I believed that it wasn't. Everyone there was extremely driven but as far as I could tell, the competition was really against themselves. I was just working to do my best, not to out-do others.

You had to be self-motivated to thrive in that environment. There were tons of opportunities, but you had to ask, not be given. That have been the most difficult adjustment for me, coming from a meritocratic society like Singapore, where if you performed your responsibilities well, things were just handed to you.

These days, it's much clearer in my head what I want, and what I'm willing to do to get it. My motivation is internal, and I get to make conscious decisions about the tradeoffs, and let go of regrets, knowing that I can't do it all, or make everyone else happy, but I'll do what I can and be at peace with it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Seeing my kid get thrown into the water and having her bob up like a cork
2. Getting my stuff done so that I can go on vacation without worrying
3. Catching up with +Jason Rarick 
4. Running into +Yun-Yi Goh and family
5. Lovely evening with +Victor Huang and his family

A hope:

To have more puzzling time in 2014 and beyond.

Day 34

Something learned:

An ex of mine had never had a passport. In his words, everything he could want was right here in America. I was frankly kind of horrified that he couldn't conceive of any benefit to travel. Visiting, let alone living in, a different country makes you appreciate just how different another person's viewpoint can be, in ways you can't even imagine. It shakes your assumptions and opens you to possibility. Being able to travel, and challenge oneself, is a blessing.

Today I was thankful for:

1. The kid getting some energy out on playground equipment
2. My kid's palette - she loves Ethiopean food!
3. A nap -- mine
4. Saving 65% off at Old Navy. I swear my kid's knees must have teeth. Holes keep appearing in her leggings.
5. Family snuggle time while watching The Croods.

A hope:

That my daughter will always love me as much as she does now.

Day 33

Something learned:

I remember wanting to participate in community service days at school, and being forbidden to by my parents. "Charity begins at home" was the comeback I would get but to this day I still don't know what they actually expected of me. Instead, I developed a strange sense of unease whenever it came to community work.

Now that I'm grown, I've volunteered with my kid at a beach cleanup, and packing meals for charity. She's loved it. I loved it. I can be true to myself, and still give in a way that I feel comfortable. I think we are enriched by the experience, and I'm finally able to cast aside the echos in my head of "Charity begins at home".

Today I was thankful for:

1. Being able to attend my kid's school performance, something I've always regretted not having.
2. Proud of my kid getting through her stage fright
3. People seemed to enjoy our chorus performance today
4. Some gals at work adopting kiddo into their gingerbread house building team while I was singing
5. Working with my kid at the One Voice volunteer packing event and she enjoyed it

A hope:

I get real time off the week after next (took vacation, kid's at camp). I hope I feel downright decadent!

Day 32

Something learned:

Courage isn't the lack of fear, but proceeding despite feeling fear.

If you weren't fearful about something, it doesn't take much to go and do it. But if you felt very fearful but overcame it to finish, that takes a lot.

Looking back, I don't think I've needed courage very often -- mostly because I've underestimated the difficulty of many paths I've chosen, and proceeded down them without much fear. It was easy! The hard part was the work that came along later.

Hopefully if my courage does get tested someday, I'll won't disgrace myself.

Today I was thankful for:

1. 7 people showed up to sing carols today! Four basses, but still. We sang!
2. Looking forward to doing a small concert at work tomorrow.
3. Kimberly liking the Buddha Board I got her.
4. Proud of kid earning 2 black stripes for her belt at one go.
5. Watched Elysium via Chromecast. So much easier than Google TV

A hope:

I want to volunteer more. It's hard when I'm too introverted to enjoy interacting with strangers. When I do community service, I prefer manual labor tasks, but those seem hard to find.

Day 31

Something learned:

Over the past year and a half, I have determined that the kid's learning situation is very similar to my own when I was her age. However, unlike my parents, who basically left it up to the school system to handle it, I have taken a much more proactive approach in educating myself on typical characteristics and symptoms, various approaches and potential outcomes. It's at times overwhelming and frightening, but I have found strong communities online with many other parents in similar circumstances, and feel like I've learned a lot by listening to their stories. I learned that with the information that is available nowadays, I can be an expert and advocate. 

I wonder though, what sort of difference it makes. Would she be intellectually and emotionally stronger and healthier than me? Would she be better poised to take advantage of her opportunities? Would she accomplish more in life? Would she successfully navigate through all of society's pitfalls, prejudices and obstacles? Or maybe she will turn out pretty on par with me, but all this might be what I need to do for that to happen, because I can't just rely on sheer luck that her path will end up as smooth as mine was. I'm not really willing to take that chance.


Today I was grateful for:

1. Learning that where I live doesn't have the worst air quality and that our family's choice to go electric makes a difference
2. Getting Christmas gifts wrapped
3. Working at a place where the employees are willing to be anonymously generous. The lounge is completely filled with gifts for charity. Brought a tear to my eye, it did.
4. Kiddo finishing the remaining of her handmade gift
5. Figuring out the remaining gifts that I need to buy for family

A hope:

I want to learn to live with less stuff. I know it bugs my husband that I own so much, but I struggle with figuring out what I don't need to own. I'll keep trying though.

Looking back on the first month

It's been one month since I started this project. I've gotten feedback from some people that they enjoy reading my posts, and no one has accused me of narcissistic navel gazing yet, so I'll take that as positive encouragement to continue.

Halfway through the month, I noticed it made more sense to rearrange the sections since they cover my past, my today, and my future. I think it's a happy accident that I chose those topics though. It's been a long time since I've written long prose, and I'm definitely rusty. Hopefully my writing will get smoother in the upcoming months.

It's sometimes hard to think of something to talk about what I've learned. I generally try to post about something big enough to be worth sharing, but then when I do, I don't usually have the time to elaborate enough do the topic justice. Maybe someday I'll look back on what I've written for this project and reorganize it into something more coherent. As of yet, I've not found a way to systematically excavate my inferences from the past years.

I have little trouble finding things to be grateful for. I usually post about something that is out of the ordinary, but there are many days where I'm simply thankful for something that I get on a pretty regular basis -- like making my kid giggle, or getting the husband's help with my todo list. Maybe I should add them every once in a while, for the sake of documenting it.

Lastly, the hopes and dreams portion, I've tried to share the more lofty ones. But I have many things I would like to do, but they not high enough priority for me to spend the money or time on them yet.

If you've read this far, I'm always happy to hear your thoughts; whether you disagree with what I've learned, or if you share a similar dream.

Day 29

Something learned:

I've come to believe that one of the responsibilities of parenting is to instill in my child a value system that will serve her will through life even when I'm no longer there to be her guide. I want her to develop the strength and motivation to make good choices on her own.

Once during violin group class, one boy was being uncooperative, and ignored his mother's warnings to stop messing with things in the room. When the teacher gently said his name, his mother seized on it and said "Ah, you'd better listen to Ms. S----" which didn't sit terribly well with me.

I won't discount that every child is different, and mine might just be easier to negotiate with. When necessary, I ask her to figure out the effects her behavior will have. She generally understands, albeit still forgetting quickly. But internal motivation, rather than external manipulation with punishment or rewards, will eventually serve her better.

Today I was thankful for:

1. My family enjoying the Christmas Panto
2. Yummy Vietnamese lunch at Abricott
3. Fun time at Steph's housewarming
4. Yummy dinner at Mongolian BBQ
5. Watching the Homeland finale with hubby

A hope:

To someday run a half marathon -- though I can't really fathom not going crazy while running for ~3 hours.

Day 28

Something learned:

When I was young, I thought I knew it all. My father seemed so over-skeptical and suspicious of things. He always thought that people were out to con me.  In hindsight, I think he was right. If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. Nowadays, I'm always looking for, and finding, the angle. Years ago, I was approached to to be a model, and my father was instantly skeptical. I just wanted to be thought of as pretty, so I went along with the modelling course and audition. I think now, it was mostly a clever ruse to sell me some overpriced makeup.

I shudder to think about when it'll be my turn some day to be the suspicious parent and my gullible, innocent child will be taken for a ride.

Today I was grateful for:


1. My rain boots getting some use and keeping my feet dry while helping the kid shower after swim lesson
2. Yummy lunch and fluff ice with friends
3. My car having enough charge to get me home
4. Chili crab to relieve homesickness
5. Seeing the lights at Christmas Tree Lane

A hope:

I want to see Mount Rushmore some day.

Day 27

Something learned:

A while back, I learned to answer the perennial job interview question "What is your greatest weakness" with "I have a terrible memory, but I've learned to manage by being super organized and writing down EVERYTHING."

By being upfront about my weakness, I've protected myself from future criticism. However, I've also managed to spin it into a selling point about myself, because I'm showing self-awareness and proactive improvement.

In that sense, as long as I am able to not take it personally, criticism can be extremely useful. It can a form of quality control, showing me the chinks in my armor BEFORE I go into battle. It doesn't even have to be constructive (your singing is bad), just not a personal attack (you're a loser).

Nobody is expected to be perfect, but I think it's pretty important that we keep working towards getting better.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Successfully iguring out  the TWO separate issues that was preventing my code from working.

2. Friends sitting down at my table at lunch so I had company

3. Sprinkles cupcakes and ice cream at work

4. Kid being told that she was ready for her first TKD stripe test next week
5. Breaking even on my mega millions lottery ticket

A dream:

To be flexible enough to do a semblance of a split. Not like I was even able to do it at age 6. 

Day 26

Something learned:

To achieve your dreams:
Step 1: figure out what your passions and dreams are
Step 2: figure out the next step in the direction of your dreams
Step 3: do the work to take that step
Step 4: repeat forever

Sounds simple. Sounds obvious. They're terribly hard. And obviously, if your dream is to win the lottery, these steps won't help. But I had the good fortune of finding out early my passion is programming and having access to resources and eventually getting on a path that ended up at MIT. I kept the goal of my passions in sight most of the time. I didn't know what I was doing, and my well-meaning parents tried hard to steer me towards medicine and law, but I never wavered, even when I didn't know where I was heading (I hadn't heard of software engineering in the 80s), I kept moving. The secret is to keep thinking (step 1 and 2) and to keep doing (step 3). And when it comes down to it, you're the only one who can do it for you.

Today I was grateful for:

1. Receiving my Laser Maze prize for being in the top 15 for the US Sudoku Qualifying Test
2. Receiving another thank you card in the mail, reaffirming my faith in common courtesy.
3. That my kid can play quietly in her room for a long time with Lego. 
4. Oyster sauce that will make my kid happily eat any vegetable
5. Husband came home with flowers and chocolate after I emailed him about something that made me unhappy.

A hope:

I would like to see John Barrowman in a Christmas Pantomime performance someday. http://www.pantomime.com/glasgow.php

Day 25

Something learned:

I try to live without regrets. I do this by having faith in my decisions, even if they turn out to be wrong later. I do the best I can with the information I have at the time, to the best of my abilities. That's all anyone can ask for, isn't it?

Like choosing to pursue a career in video games that went nowhere, or the time I told my dad I wasn't interested in working at startups, when he suggested applying to pre-IPO Google. All those decisions were the right one for me at the time. I look upon all of them as learning experiences that enriched me, even though in hindsight, they were mistakes. I don't consider them as such, since given the knowledge that I had at my disposal then, I still feel that I chose optimally.

Always make the best choices you can, learn from the experience, no regrets.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Finishing the book "Crazy Rich Asians" which made me oddly homesick.
2. All the wishlists on the giving tree at work being taken by people. I even plugged it after our weekly meeting :D
3. Finding a job opening that I could recommend someone for.
4. My kid's favorite TKD teacher being back in town
5. Hand-making cool Christmas gifts with the kid

A hope:

Funny how I've never actually been inside the Marina Bay Sands. Every time I'm back in Singapore, I'm so busy with people and eating, that I don't have time for the touristy stuff. Well, next time I'm back, I need to visit.

Day 24

Something learned:

Surround yourself with good people.

I learned how easily I get influenced by who I'm around when I used to date someone who used the F word in every third sentence. I found the same expletive rolling off my tongue a lot easier when I hear it all the time. I didn't swear before, or after him. I knew others too, who were surrounded by people who they too get influenced by.

The people around me modify what I consider the norm. It behooves to me to select my norm carefully, and to be around folks that I can respect.

Today I was thankful for:

1. My kid's giggles. They are the sound of pure happiness2. My employer tangibly showing me how much they appreciate me
3. Finding out that the barista is serving holiday hot cocoa with mini marshmallows 
4. A big craft store sale -- found many projects to occupy the kid 
5. Family pizza night!

A hope:

I want to learn to tap dance.

Can LA have its warm weather back yet?

Day 23

Something learned:

It still surprises me sometimes when I'm talking and I see people around me silently paying attention. Growing up, attention was a difficult thing for me to get, and I ended up staying silent most of the time. I recall meeting up with my Aunt L when I was 24, and being very surprised when she asked me lots of questions about what was going on in my life, and was listening intently because it was such an unusual experience for me.

I still hate speaking most of the time, and it has had an effect on a lot of my life and career choices. I don't want my child to be limited in the same way, so I make sure to talk and listen to her every day. I hope it works.

Today I was grateful for:

1. Catching up with various family and friends over email
2. Making much progress on holiday errands
3. Possibly seeing my cousin soon
4. Husband making dinner
5. Cracking open the chocolate "gingerbread" house to eat

A hope:

That I'll get to spend next Chinese New Year with some family even if I can't get home this year.

Day 22

Something learned:

It wasn't until my  third year of competing that I finally won the US Sudoku Championship. It was a tumultuous final round -- of the other 2 guys, one was eventually disqualified for cheating, and the other, Tom had beaten me the previous 2 years, and finished many minutes before me. However, he had made a mistake in his final solution and ended up being penalized, and I was declared the winner. The victory felt hollow, since I knew Tom to be the faster solver.

Eventually, I learned that winning a competition wasn't just about pure skill. I realized that many other aspects can factor into a victory such as preparation, persistence and attention to detail; occasionally even luck. Conversely, an opponent seeming more skilled, is not reason enough to give up. You just never know!

Today I was grateful for:

1. My kid being on her way to becoming a better swimmer than I ever was.
2. My singing recital going well (I stayed on key, mostly)
3. The kid's violin recital going well (she didn't get derailed)
4. Husband going out for groceries and takeout dinner so I could remain in my jammies.
5. Kid making sure she got and gave a hug and kiss to each of us before bed.

A hope:

I would like to take a cruise to Alaska, and maybe see the Northern Lights.

Day 21

Something learned:

I've always known that I wanted to marry someone honest, but I didn't actually learn to really trust until after I was married.

It was my husband who called me on it, when because of my own insecurities, I would ask him questions that showed a lack of faith in him and his actions.  I don't actually remember the specific questions, but I do remember the feeling of surprise when he challenged me if I thought that he would have married me if he wasn't committed to me. I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't have, and something finally clicked in my head.

Unless you believe in yourself, it's hard to understand that another person can believe in you too.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Getting the Christmas tree up
2. A fun afternoon at J's birthday party with friends
3. Dancing with my husband to a live band under chandeliers
4. Getting an honorable mention for my costume
5. An awesome evening with friends at the holiday party

A hope:

That hubby's ankle issues aren't permanent, so that we can go dancing together again.

Day 20

Something learned:

Stand for something or stand for nothing at all.

I think the first time I took a stand for my principles was after college back in Singapore, at a friend's wedding. They served sharks' fin soup, which is expected of any decent wedding. Without going too much into it, I oppose shark finning, so I set aside the bowl of soup and left it.

Growing up, I was never taught to, not did I see examples of people, holding non-mainstream views. I don't know if it was just my family, or if it was society, but I grew up shying away from holding strong views.

I learned to come into my own in college, living away from home. It was empowering, to make choices over what I thought was right and wrong, and not just what parents or governments told me to think. I thought it important to be my own person. I thought important to stand for ideals -- to do what's right for the world, for my family, for my health, for ethics. I'm proud to hold my views, and grateful for the freedom to do so.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Passing the MOOC songwriting course I took
2. My singing teacher telling me that I've been making good progress
3. The kid getting her first taste of programming (one can hope)

4. Getting chocolate in the mail

5. Spending the evening watching Before Sunrise and Before Sunset with hubby

A dream:

Traveling the world with hubby after the kid grows up.

Day 19

Something learned:

When I was younger, when I encountered various obstacles in life, I considered them temporary low points in a life of ups and downs. I would put ordinary life on hold to pay full attention to the issues and address them. As years passed, I started to realize that in life, problems and setbacks weren't the exception, but the norm. By waiting out the "lows", I was really waiting out life.

By accepting that problems are part and parcel of life, I learned to recalibrate my normal. Problems happen, I deal with them, all while choosing to be happy.

Today I was thankful for:

1. That even though it's cold out for Los Angeles, it's still not cold enough for real snow. (See photo)
2. Being able to appreciate the slow but steady effort that the kid is making with violin
3. Winning a contest for 2 hours of bliss
4. Early Christmas gifts from the employer
5. Husband making dinner

A hope:

I just want to survive the crazy schedule this weekend. We're way over-scheduled, with 2 parties, a swim lesson and not to mention the kid's and my recitals both being on the same day.

Day 18

Something learned:

Somewhere in my preteen years, we had classes in school about Lateral Thinking, and one of the topics was PMI - Plus, Minus, Interesting. We would discuss some choice to be made and come up with a list of plus, minus and interesting points about the various options. My takeaway from this lesson was that it was important to be able to see all sides of the picture.

Unfortunately, for a long time in my life after that, when looking at all sides of the picture, I was often so mired down in considerations that I was unable to make a decision one way or another. It wasn't until someone else pointed out that knowing all the pros and cons didn't matter if I didn't stand for something because otherwise I stood for nothing at all. Making a choice was the second part of the equation that I had yet to learn.

We have to make choices in the face of incomplete information all the time. Even worse, are the permanent choices, like whether to marry someone or having a child. There may always be better options, things can always go wrong. But those shouldn't be reasons to put off a choice, otherwise you can never choose at all.

Sometimes my choices are great, sometimes they're not. But I make them with the best forethought I can, and the available information. If things go wrong, I deal with them without regrets, because for me, not choosing at all is not a viable alternative.

Today I was grateful for:

1. Having a job that is flexible enough about working from home to care for a sick child

2. Invisalign being a lot less pokey than metal braces

3. Invisalign making snacking a lot less convenient.. maybe I'll lose some weight!

4. Hubby who doesn't complain about my cooking, even as one dish lacks salt and the other is too salty.

5. The stickers that my kid likes leaving everywhere. They drive me nuts now, but I know I'll miss them some day.

A hope:

That these aligners will stop driving me crazy soon. I got these things only because my dentist warned that my moving teeth would erode my jawbone and cause bone loss.

Day 17

Today I was grateful for:

1. Picking up many packages at work. Almost all gifts for other people.
2. Getting the last components I needed for my costume for the company holiday party
3. Nature's Miracle. Again
4. Husband setting up Chromecast for our living room
5. Christmas tree coming out of storage.

Something learned:

We all have these tasks that just linger on the to-do list forever. The GTD course I once took said that procrastination has one of 2 main causes. Either you don't know how to do the task, or you don't want to do it. If it's the former, you need to go find the information you are lacking. If it's the latter, you need to come to a decision about whether you are going to do it or not, and then either do the darned thing or acknowledge that you will not do it and go from there. Either way, it finally gets off the to-do list.

The main work in the GTD system is in wrestling poorly defined to-do items into actionable next steps. E.g. turning "get car fixed" into "look for mechanic's business card". Oftentimes a lot of thinking is involved before you can even begin to do physically do anything towards a task and the GTD paradigm means doing all that thinking beforehand, so that when you are ready to actually work, the to-do list is ready.

A hope:

I want to learn Parkour. It may be too late for this body though.. :)

Day 16

Today I was grateful for:

1. Our team offsite -- my go-karting may have been slow, but I made out at the claw machine.
2. The kid had her THIRD injury on the monkey bars, but it doesn't seem serious
3. I convinced the kid to write a letter to Santa, and all she wanted was Lego and a Christmas tree (she actually had trouble thinking of anything she wanted)
4. Messages from my sibling -- I love hearing from family
5. Canker cover -- awesome ulcer medicine.

Something learned:

I was a perfectionist when I was young. I saw things in black and white, and if I couldn't do something right, I didn't want to do that at all.

Learning to let go has been a lifelong process for me. Being able to accept when things are good enough. Even taking engineering in college was initially a struggle, coming from a math background, dealing with approximation of any sort.

I tend to live by the motto, if I want it done well, I'll just do it myself. If I'm going to let someone else do something, I must stay out of it completely, or risk going crazy when they don't do it my way. Recently, I was stressed, with working full time and running our household and trying to find time for myself on top of everything. My husband suggested that I should "lower my standards." When I related that to a friend, her response was "even if we did that, our standards would never be as low as our husbands'."

That might be true, but even so, I think my husband was right. If the cost of perfect is my quality of life, then I need to let go sometimes. Now if only I can figure out how to teach the kiddo the same lesson.

A hope:

My childhood home is getting sold. It would be nice if I get to see it one last time. Or at least get some cool pictures of it.

We can't all be #1

Day 15

Today I was grateful for:

1. It's December, and I can now sing carols!

2. A fun morning at the Magic Castle Family Brunch -- Balloonacy and Arthur Trace are awesome

3. A clean house

4. Chocolate Lava Cake at C&O
5. The 4-day weekend

Something learned:

Some years back, I came to the conclusion that for me, being happy was within my conscious control. Granted, it's not quite as simple as thinking "I want to be happy!" and having it be true.

How unhappy I felt really depended on a complex equation that takes into account many different aspects of my life: dissatisfactions, disappointments, etc. Slowly, I learned to rewrite that equation; to start seeing the positives in my life instead of the negatives and to not take personally the things that I couldn't control. When it comes down to it, whatever results in happiness, happens purely in my head, which is why I consider it a conscious choice.

This article is one of many that support my opinion on this: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/ten-things-stop-caring-about-you-want-happier.html

Harking back to a familiar theme, what made this possible was my self-esteem recovering enough for me to start making decisions in my own self interest. Making better choices. Choosing to be happy.

A hope: 

I hope that I figure out how to improve my people skills as I get older. Sometimes, I still feel like there's a cultural barrier that prevents people from correctly understanding my intentions.

Day 14

Today I was grateful for:

1. Craft shopping with the kid at Michaels
2. Getting some purging done
3. Finding my lost keys
4. Playing board games with the family
5. Nature's Miracle. Nuff said.

Something learned:

Parents have an immense influence on us, as they should. I can identify specific quirks, insecurities and mindsets of mine that are a direct result of my relationship with my parents.

Becoming a parent myself, I feel the weight of the responsibility of guiding my child and being her role model. I have to be the steadfast, perfect anchor for her.

But the hard thing to remember is that parents are human too, and infallible. And as I learned to forgive them for the mistakes, I'll have to come to terms with my own mistakes.

A dream:

To travel as much as possible as a family before the kid doesn't want to anymore... Road trip across the US, history in Europe, nature in the Galapagos, whatever.