Something learned:
A discussion arose out of yesterday's post, that reminded me of a lesson I learned after being declared the US Sudoku Champion. The reason people say "May the best man win" is because the best man doesn't always win.
Thomas Snyder and I were both in the finals for the 3rd year in a row. For the 3rd time, he finished before I did, and I could hear the applause through my ear protection. I continued plodding through my own solution, finishing about 4 minutes later. When I took off my earmuffs and went to shake Tom's hand, I found out that I had won because he had made an error in his final solution. For quite a while after that, I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I didn't deserve to win, since I wasn't the fastest solver. But it eventually sunk in that such is the reality of competition. It's a snapshot of a single performance in time, and besides plain skill, so many other factors come into play. There may well be some other competition that I might deserve to win, but won't. I'll take the win now.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Lunch with old teammates who are always fun to be with.
2. I'll never take hot water for granted again. I took the 3rd cold shower of my life and it was MISERABLE.
3. Getting to talk to my parents to wish them a happy new year.
4. Getting the kid to pose for a new year picture.
5. Husband went out at night to get me chocolate ice cream from the store, and I'm not even pregnant.
Looking forward to:
Chinese New Year banquet dinner with Club Singapura on Saturday!
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
Day 65
Something learned:
For the first 9 or 10 years of my school career, I found school fairly easy, so I coasted through. I excelled at math and science, scraped by in my humanities, but generally things were fine. Things started to get bumpy after that. Subjects like chemistry and biology were difficult because I had a poor working memory and found it hard to recall facts. Eventually, I memorized what I needed to get through the exams and put it behind me.
When it came to college, I encountered truly difficult work for the first time. Just understanding the material was nowhere good enough -- homework was substantial and required a lot of thought and problem solving. I found it fun, but it was exhausting -- I fell asleep over many a problem set trying to untangle it.
I would have had a lot less difficulty had I learned to work hard before then. It's rather amazing to me that I could get all the way to university before needing to work hard. If I hadn't managed to adapt and figure it out, I might have easily failed out.
My parents demanded good grades, but not hard work -- and in my case that was a crucial difference. As such, I consider it important to expose my child to things that challenge her and need her to exert herself. I care more how hard she has worked than how well she does. I hope it works out.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Having the chance to pull out my camera equipment to practice.
2. Finding a decent solution to a thorny code problem at work
3. My singing teacher telling me that I'm making good progress
4. Kiddo being cooperative and practicing hard tonight (The Pleygo Lego works well to motivate her)
5. Getting enough of my todo list done that I can relax and do some singing
Looking forward to:
I love going to open houses (and surprisingly so does the kid). I look forward to house hunting .. maybe in a year or two.
For the first 9 or 10 years of my school career, I found school fairly easy, so I coasted through. I excelled at math and science, scraped by in my humanities, but generally things were fine. Things started to get bumpy after that. Subjects like chemistry and biology were difficult because I had a poor working memory and found it hard to recall facts. Eventually, I memorized what I needed to get through the exams and put it behind me.
When it came to college, I encountered truly difficult work for the first time. Just understanding the material was nowhere good enough -- homework was substantial and required a lot of thought and problem solving. I found it fun, but it was exhausting -- I fell asleep over many a problem set trying to untangle it.
I would have had a lot less difficulty had I learned to work hard before then. It's rather amazing to me that I could get all the way to university before needing to work hard. If I hadn't managed to adapt and figure it out, I might have easily failed out.
My parents demanded good grades, but not hard work -- and in my case that was a crucial difference. As such, I consider it important to expose my child to things that challenge her and need her to exert herself. I care more how hard she has worked than how well she does. I hope it works out.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Having the chance to pull out my camera equipment to practice.
2. Finding a decent solution to a thorny code problem at work
3. My singing teacher telling me that I'm making good progress
4. Kiddo being cooperative and practicing hard tonight (The Pleygo Lego works well to motivate her)
5. Getting enough of my todo list done that I can relax and do some singing
Looking forward to:
I love going to open houses (and surprisingly so does the kid). I look forward to house hunting .. maybe in a year or two.
Day 64
Something learned:
GTD has helped me in recent weeks to reduce my stress levels.
Toward the end of last year, I realized that I was getting overwhelmed with everything I wanted to do -- my to-do list was gargantuan. Since I had just done our 2014 budget, I thought about how a financial budget helps figure out if I'm spending our limited money in the right places, and I figured a time budget might help me make sure that I had time to do all the things I wanted.
Well, I did it and I simply couldn't make it balance. So I knew that I had to cut out things. GTD helped give me an overview of the things I had mentally committed to doing, so I started being a lot more judicious with the number of things I added to the calendar or new projects that I started to take on.
It's been working. I have a better idea of where my time is being spent, and am being a little less spendthrift with my time. I have a little more of it free to enjoy now. If only I could bank time :)
Today I was thankful for:
1. I stopped by Krispy Kreme before work and treated myself to those doughnuts I've been craving.
2. Finished reading my library book
3. Finished my Coursera lectures for the week, and it's only Tuesday
4. Managed to do some quick calculations at the register to split up my purchases correctly in order to use my 3 Old Navy Super Cash coupons. (apparently they only take 1 per transaction) I can still do math!
5. Got to visit a chorus group and they'll let me audition after 3 weeks. I have no idea if I'm good enough, but I'm glad I'm trying!
Looking forward to:
My camera equipment has not gotten much use lately. I've figured out a photography project for myself and am excited to embark on it.
GTD has helped me in recent weeks to reduce my stress levels.
Toward the end of last year, I realized that I was getting overwhelmed with everything I wanted to do -- my to-do list was gargantuan. Since I had just done our 2014 budget, I thought about how a financial budget helps figure out if I'm spending our limited money in the right places, and I figured a time budget might help me make sure that I had time to do all the things I wanted.
Well, I did it and I simply couldn't make it balance. So I knew that I had to cut out things. GTD helped give me an overview of the things I had mentally committed to doing, so I started being a lot more judicious with the number of things I added to the calendar or new projects that I started to take on.
It's been working. I have a better idea of where my time is being spent, and am being a little less spendthrift with my time. I have a little more of it free to enjoy now. If only I could bank time :)
Today I was thankful for:
1. I stopped by Krispy Kreme before work and treated myself to those doughnuts I've been craving.
2. Finished reading my library book
3. Finished my Coursera lectures for the week, and it's only Tuesday
4. Managed to do some quick calculations at the register to split up my purchases correctly in order to use my 3 Old Navy Super Cash coupons. (apparently they only take 1 per transaction) I can still do math!
5. Got to visit a chorus group and they'll let me audition after 3 weeks. I have no idea if I'm good enough, but I'm glad I'm trying!
Looking forward to:
My camera equipment has not gotten much use lately. I've figured out a photography project for myself and am excited to embark on it.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Day 63
Something learned:
Don't worry so much about what strangers think. Most of the time, they're not thinking about you. If they are, their opinions don't actually matter. Your family and friends are the ones who count.
I remember once fighting with an ex, though I can't remember about what. I had started to raise my voice and he was frantically shushing me. At that point, I realized that he was more concerned over what bystanders thought of him, than how hurt I had been over the issue we were discussing.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Getting my annual physical done
2. Getting a massage
3. Husband making dinner
4. Husband's yummy home-made beef jerky from the dehydrator he got at Christmas
5. Kid trying to sneak in some reading after bedtime. I'm so proud :)
Looking forward to:
Husband will be babysitting so that I can go check out a chorus tomorrow night. I'm so excited.
Don't worry so much about what strangers think. Most of the time, they're not thinking about you. If they are, their opinions don't actually matter. Your family and friends are the ones who count.
I remember once fighting with an ex, though I can't remember about what. I had started to raise my voice and he was frantically shushing me. At that point, I realized that he was more concerned over what bystanders thought of him, than how hurt I had been over the issue we were discussing.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Getting my annual physical done
2. Getting a massage
3. Husband making dinner
4. Husband's yummy home-made beef jerky from the dehydrator he got at Christmas
5. Kid trying to sneak in some reading after bedtime. I'm so proud :)
Looking forward to:
Husband will be babysitting so that I can go check out a chorus tomorrow night. I'm so excited.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Day 62
Something learned:
When I was young I was so afraid of doing anything that wasn't prescribed behavior. It wasn't something I had seen done, and perhaps just not common in the culture I grew up in.
Attending college in the US, a friend's mother taught me "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" and I also learned that if you walk around like you're supposed to be there, few people will question you. Remembering these 2 things gives me a lot more confidence to get what I need done when interacting with people, and it has rarely failed.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Getting to the Boiling Crab early enough to make their first seating
2. Amoeba Records buying about a hundred of our CDs.
3. Husband letting me nap
4. Successfully making dinner and dip
5. Cleaned off my desk, cleared my todo list, finished my to-read stack, and being free enough to wonder what I should do next.
Looking forward to:
Now that I've got some headroom, maybe I can start writing again!
When I was young I was so afraid of doing anything that wasn't prescribed behavior. It wasn't something I had seen done, and perhaps just not common in the culture I grew up in.
Attending college in the US, a friend's mother taught me "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" and I also learned that if you walk around like you're supposed to be there, few people will question you. Remembering these 2 things gives me a lot more confidence to get what I need done when interacting with people, and it has rarely failed.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Getting to the Boiling Crab early enough to make their first seating
2. Amoeba Records buying about a hundred of our CDs.
3. Husband letting me nap
4. Successfully making dinner and dip
5. Cleaned off my desk, cleared my todo list, finished my to-read stack, and being free enough to wonder what I should do next.
Looking forward to:
Now that I've got some headroom, maybe I can start writing again!
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Day 61
Something learned:
The kid had a bottle of bubbles and was happily blowing bubbles. She noticed a table nearby where people were selling bubble-blowing guns. She started sulking that her bubble bottle was "nothing" compared to the bubble guns.
What I really wanted to explain, (but didn't have the language to put in terms that she could understand) was that there is always going to be someone with something better than what you have, but that you shouldn't let it diminish the value that it brings to you, or you'll forever be unhappy.
I think if more people understood it, people would care so much less about "keeping up with the Joneses."
Today I was thankful for:
1. The patience of all my kid's teachers - I continue to marvel at their gentle yet persistent way of developing her skills and knowledge.
2. Meeting my cousin P today. I love hanging out with her!
3. Getting a Chinese New Year lantern decoration to hang up in the house
4. Finding roasted chestnuts at the Chinese New Year Festival
5. Reading Escape from Camp 14. It's a powerful book.
Looking forward to:
Going to the Frozen Sing-a-long with my kid in a couple of weeks!
Day 60
Something learned:
A little kind feeling in one heart makes it a lot easier to prevent fights. It helps you remember that you're both human and vulnerable to fatigue, frustration and resentment. Understand that it's a matter of finding a human solution, not settling a moral or philosophical debate.
And always precede negative feedback with something positive.
Today I was thankful for:
1. My awesome new microphone for recording singing
2. Overcast sky for the lovely light for the picture I had planned to make
3. Finally realizing that the parameter to the equals method that I was overriding needed to be of type object and fixing the bug that has plagued me for a week.
4. My damaged phone being covered under my MasterCard insurance! For once those benefits paid off.
5. The kid doing a great job at her first TKD belt test
Looking forward to:
My next trip home to Singapore. It's about that time again.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Day 59
Something learned:
A lot of my competitiveness was rooted in insecurity. That burning need to prove myself better, to validate myself. Today someone was talking shit to me. I was tempted to fire back, when I realized that my retort would have probably hurt (albeit true), and that I had no need to prove myself better. I'm glad to be in that place where I'm happy with myself. But that won't stop me from competing in contests of skill.. I just don't actually need to win anymore.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Being able to order my spinach omelet just the way I like it in the work cafeteria
2. Finishing my online lectures and homework for the week
3. Getting out of work in time to pick up the kid
4. Getting the kid to both her activities on time
5. Finishing my todo list and being able to relax with a book.
Looking forward to:
I think I'm gonna try to audition for a chorus group.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Day 58
Something learned:
I learned that when in polite company, you weren't supposed to discuss politics or religion. These days, it seems that food choices and parenting styles are just as taboo. (Or maybe we've just become increasingly more polarized due to our filter bubbles)
Today I was grateful for:
1. Hubby and kid successfully crawling through the disgusting mess on the 405N this morning
2. Progress being made on my claim to cover my phone replacement
3. Purging an extra 52 items for the 2014-items-challenge
4. Getting $1 off the bottle of RedHot sauce
5. Safely locating all my old data and photos from the last 20 years.
Looking forward to:
A massage next week.
I learned that when in polite company, you weren't supposed to discuss politics or religion. These days, it seems that food choices and parenting styles are just as taboo. (Or maybe we've just become increasingly more polarized due to our filter bubbles)
Today I was grateful for:
1. Hubby and kid successfully crawling through the disgusting mess on the 405N this morning
2. Progress being made on my claim to cover my phone replacement
3. Purging an extra 52 items for the 2014-items-challenge
4. Getting $1 off the bottle of RedHot sauce
5. Safely locating all my old data and photos from the last 20 years.
Looking forward to:
A massage next week.
Day 57
Something learned:
I used to think I was not a morning person. I would stay up late, and have a miserable time in the mornings. It wasn't recent years, possibly after having a kid and being forced to wake up at 6am to have any time to myself, that my schedule shifted enough to match that of a "morning person".
I learned that my body was dependable. I found myself easily waking up at 6am without an alarm clock, provided I had went to bed at a reasonable hour the day before.
I learned that my body was noticeably sensitive to sleep deprivation. After accumulating enough sleep debt, I would invariably find myself having thoughts similar to "I'm so sad" or the like.
It's good to finally understand my body.
Today I was grateful for:
1. The library movie that got mistakenly borrowed on my account got returned on time anyway.
2. Getting a bunch of Forever stamps from the machine even though the post office ran out.
2. Getting a bunch of Forever stamps from the machine even though the post office ran out.
3. Kid making all the beds in anticipation of her babysitter
4. Getting through the 405-N rush hour traffic in (only) an hour
5. Getting to watch Knights of Badassdom after waiting for it for 2 years.
Looking forward to:
Seeing my cousin this weekend
Monday, January 20, 2014
Day 56
Something learned:
If you can't love life on your own, it's hard to for you to enrich someone else's life. Or more simply put, if you don't love yourself, you're not ready to be in love.
To make another person responsible for your happiness is selfish and unhealthy. Much in the way I rejected my mother's advice to marry a rich man and be taken care of, I should have realized that I also need to have the ability to take care of my own emotional needs.
Today I was grateful for:
1. +Beng Liang Koh sending me some awesome Chinese New Year music
2. $5 off at Joann, which I used to buy some 50% off rubberbands. End price was 94 cents for 2000 bands + 3 charms.
3. Free lunch for kid at the Indian buffet
4. Complimentary mango lassi for the kid at lunch (which she didn't like, so I got!)
5. Walking with the kid on her bicycle to the park.
Looking forward to:
Finally watching Knights of Badassdom tomorrow night. Grownups' night out!
If you can't love life on your own, it's hard to for you to enrich someone else's life. Or more simply put, if you don't love yourself, you're not ready to be in love.
To make another person responsible for your happiness is selfish and unhealthy. Much in the way I rejected my mother's advice to marry a rich man and be taken care of, I should have realized that I also need to have the ability to take care of my own emotional needs.
Today I was grateful for:
1. +Beng Liang Koh sending me some awesome Chinese New Year music
2. $5 off at Joann, which I used to buy some 50% off rubberbands. End price was 94 cents for 2000 bands + 3 charms.
3. Free lunch for kid at the Indian buffet
4. Complimentary mango lassi for the kid at lunch (which she didn't like, so I got!)
5. Walking with the kid on her bicycle to the park.
Looking forward to:
Finally watching Knights of Badassdom tomorrow night. Grownups' night out!
Day 55
Something learned:
In order to do something, the hardest part is just DOING. Too often, we can just sit and THINK about doing, and the potential of the project is intact, and glorious. When we start doing, we run up against limitations of skills and resources and we have to start accepting the reality of a result that is less than our visualized ideal. That reality check is unpleasant, and we naturally avoid it.
I squirm terribly whenever my husband sees my work, because I don't want the imperfections to be laid bare in his judgement. But unless I get over that, I can't create anything.
My child fights back vigorously when pushed to do something she's not confident of completing perfectly. For her own sake, I have to keep pushing her past those boundaries. The same goes for me. I write this blog and perhaps at the end of the year, I will feel like a writer again.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Vanguard's website just keeps getting better. Procedures that used to take lots of printouts and form filling can now be done in a couple of minutes online.
2. Sunny warm weather in January
3. Kid's lunch at Rosti was free
4. Found Five Fingers that fit the kid at REI
5. Spending the evening with the in-laws
Looking forward to:
The parents-in-laws agreed to watch the kid overnight for Valentine's Day. Yay!
In order to do something, the hardest part is just DOING. Too often, we can just sit and THINK about doing, and the potential of the project is intact, and glorious. When we start doing, we run up against limitations of skills and resources and we have to start accepting the reality of a result that is less than our visualized ideal. That reality check is unpleasant, and we naturally avoid it.
I squirm terribly whenever my husband sees my work, because I don't want the imperfections to be laid bare in his judgement. But unless I get over that, I can't create anything.
My child fights back vigorously when pushed to do something she's not confident of completing perfectly. For her own sake, I have to keep pushing her past those boundaries. The same goes for me. I write this blog and perhaps at the end of the year, I will feel like a writer again.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Vanguard's website just keeps getting better. Procedures that used to take lots of printouts and form filling can now be done in a couple of minutes online.
2. Sunny warm weather in January
3. Kid's lunch at Rosti was free
4. Found Five Fingers that fit the kid at REI
5. Spending the evening with the in-laws
Looking forward to:
The parents-in-laws agreed to watch the kid overnight for Valentine's Day. Yay!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Day 54
Something learned:
Financial literacy is important. It's not taught in schools. My father probably knew it but didn't teach me much. My mother is likely financially illiterate. I learned by reading many books, and finding the common threads in all of them. In the end it's not that hard.. but it does get complicated. It's scary how many people are financially illiterate, and don't see it as a problem. It's your money, and nobody else is looking out for it. And the less you have, the more important it becomes to manage it all and maximize what you do have to spend.
Today I was grateful for:
1. Yummy lunch in the sun by a fountain with the family
2. Bought a bunch of chocolate from See's .. and got free samples too
3. Finding a birthday gift for an upcoming party
4. Finishing Vikings Season 1 with husband
5. Getting a bunch of the tax prep stuff done
Looking forward to:
Playing with the new camera equipment the husband got me for Christmas.
Financial literacy is important. It's not taught in schools. My father probably knew it but didn't teach me much. My mother is likely financially illiterate. I learned by reading many books, and finding the common threads in all of them. In the end it's not that hard.. but it does get complicated. It's scary how many people are financially illiterate, and don't see it as a problem. It's your money, and nobody else is looking out for it. And the less you have, the more important it becomes to manage it all and maximize what you do have to spend.
Today I was grateful for:
1. Yummy lunch in the sun by a fountain with the family
2. Bought a bunch of chocolate from See's .. and got free samples too
3. Finding a birthday gift for an upcoming party
4. Finishing Vikings Season 1 with husband
5. Getting a bunch of the tax prep stuff done
Looking forward to:
Playing with the new camera equipment the husband got me for Christmas.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Day 53
Something learned:
Pressed pennies are a great collection to do. At fifty-one cents each, they're usually the cheapest souvenir in the store :) Also, adding stuff to wish-lists are a great way to placate a kid who wants something that they've seen.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Kid leaving me alone for 90 minutes to do sudoku
2. Yummy Unagi-don for lunch
3. Bringing my kid to watch her first IMAX movie.
4. Being able to find all the paperwork I think I need for the audit.
5. Watching Vikings with hubby
Looking forward to:
I think I'll hold a party this spring. First in years!
Pressed pennies are a great collection to do. At fifty-one cents each, they're usually the cheapest souvenir in the store :) Also, adding stuff to wish-lists are a great way to placate a kid who wants something that they've seen.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Kid leaving me alone for 90 minutes to do sudoku
2. Yummy Unagi-don for lunch
3. Bringing my kid to watch her first IMAX movie.
4. Being able to find all the paperwork I think I need for the audit.
5. Watching Vikings with hubby
Looking forward to:
I think I'll hold a party this spring. First in years!
Friday, January 17, 2014
Day 52
Something learned:
My kid sometimes thinks she knows better than me. I don't always correct her because the issues are sometimes complex and would take too darned long to explain. But it makes me question a little those times I thought I knew better than my parents.
Last night the kid and I were singing to a karaoke track, and I made some mistakes. She mused out loud, "I wonder how I'm a better singer than you, Mommy?" I could tell that she truly believed it, and considered letting it pass... but I started imagining how much worse she would be in 10 years. So I pointed out that there were a lot of different aspects to singing skill, and remembering the song was just one aspect, which she was good at. Perhaps she'll be a little less judgmental and a little more humble. But I mostly live in fear of the other young people that are going to be around her, if they would teach her bad behavior, or just plain damage her. Sigh.
Today I was thankful for:
1. That the kid cut the hair off her toy horse and not her head
2. Getting 5 uniform pieces for under $30 instead of the $200 it would have cost
3. Got to watch Alexa von Tobel speak in person at work and get a copy of her book
4. Fixing the box we painted for the kid while I was pregnant with Uhu glue. It blows Krazy glue out of the water -- it doesn't dry up in the tube, dries quicker after applied, and is just as strong!
5. More purging! Got rid of another 4 inches of paper.
Looking forward to:
After hubby finishes his game in the spring, we'll be heading to Disneyland!
My kid sometimes thinks she knows better than me. I don't always correct her because the issues are sometimes complex and would take too darned long to explain. But it makes me question a little those times I thought I knew better than my parents.
Last night the kid and I were singing to a karaoke track, and I made some mistakes. She mused out loud, "I wonder how I'm a better singer than you, Mommy?" I could tell that she truly believed it, and considered letting it pass... but I started imagining how much worse she would be in 10 years. So I pointed out that there were a lot of different aspects to singing skill, and remembering the song was just one aspect, which she was good at. Perhaps she'll be a little less judgmental and a little more humble. But I mostly live in fear of the other young people that are going to be around her, if they would teach her bad behavior, or just plain damage her. Sigh.
Today I was thankful for:
1. That the kid cut the hair off her toy horse and not her head
2. Getting 5 uniform pieces for under $30 instead of the $200 it would have cost
3. Got to watch Alexa von Tobel speak in person at work and get a copy of her book
4. Fixing the box we painted for the kid while I was pregnant with Uhu glue. It blows Krazy glue out of the water -- it doesn't dry up in the tube, dries quicker after applied, and is just as strong!
5. More purging! Got rid of another 4 inches of paper.
Looking forward to:
After hubby finishes his game in the spring, we'll be heading to Disneyland!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Day 51
Something learned:
I'm glad that I'm pushing myself by taking singing classes, and running races. When I talk to my kid about practicing, or courage, or failure, I can give her examples from my own experience, and it's much more authentic to her. I make myself vulnerable, and then demonstrate for her how to develop strength. I admit my mistakes and show her how to apologize. I'm learning to teach by example, and I don't think I could do it any other way.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The yummiest lamb chops ever for lunch at work
2. Kid being cooperative and practicing her stuff, then working on crafts.
3. Juggling 4 pots/pans and having dinner all come together without burning
4. Electronic statements being available means I can purge a 4 inch stack of paper.
5. Finally getting through my YouTube Watch-Later list.
Looking forward to:
4 day weekend with the kid! (Husband has a regular 2 day weekend :P)
I'm glad that I'm pushing myself by taking singing classes, and running races. When I talk to my kid about practicing, or courage, or failure, I can give her examples from my own experience, and it's much more authentic to her. I make myself vulnerable, and then demonstrate for her how to develop strength. I admit my mistakes and show her how to apologize. I'm learning to teach by example, and I don't think I could do it any other way.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The yummiest lamb chops ever for lunch at work
2. Kid being cooperative and practicing her stuff, then working on crafts.
3. Juggling 4 pots/pans and having dinner all come together without burning
4. Electronic statements being available means I can purge a 4 inch stack of paper.
5. Finally getting through my YouTube Watch-Later list.
Looking forward to:
4 day weekend with the kid! (Husband has a regular 2 day weekend :P)
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Day 50
Something learned:
I am a somewhat judgmental person, but it wasn't until I was on the receiving end that I realized how unpleasant it can be. It's easy to fall into a trap of presuming a person's intentions, or assuming that another person shares my own values. I'm not perfect about it yet, but I try to keep it in mind especially when offering advice, or making observations. Nobody likes to feel judged by others.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Being able to draw up a huge mind map of the kid's activities
2. Kid remembering to bring home the clothes she forgot at school yesterday
3. Discovering a fine on my library account for something I didn't check out and successfully getting it waived
4. Making dinner and having it all eaten up
5. Learning a lot in the Coursera class I'm taking https://www.coursera.org/course/thinkagain
Looking forward to:
Finding 2014 items to purge this year!
I am a somewhat judgmental person, but it wasn't until I was on the receiving end that I realized how unpleasant it can be. It's easy to fall into a trap of presuming a person's intentions, or assuming that another person shares my own values. I'm not perfect about it yet, but I try to keep it in mind especially when offering advice, or making observations. Nobody likes to feel judged by others.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Being able to draw up a huge mind map of the kid's activities
2. Kid remembering to bring home the clothes she forgot at school yesterday
3. Discovering a fine on my library account for something I didn't check out and successfully getting it waived
4. Making dinner and having it all eaten up
5. Learning a lot in the Coursera class I'm taking https://www.coursera.org/course/thinkagain
Looking forward to:
Finding 2014 items to purge this year!
Day 49
Something learned:
When the kiddo loses a privilege like dessert over misbehavior, these days she exclaims that "it's not fair!"
When I was a kid, I thought that fairness meant everyone gets the same thing. Now I've come to believe that fairness means that everyone getting getting what they need. I'm just having a hell of a time making the kid understand it.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Managing to get tickets AND babysitting for a movie night with hubby next week.
2. Lots of encouragement for my purging before-and-after
3. Being proud of kiddo doing well in the new level of TKD classes that she got promoted to.
4. TV shows coming off their winter hiatuses (hiatii?)
5. Foot rub from the husband while we watched TV
Looking forward to:
Chinese New Year. Made plans to see family, and other Singaporeans. It's not exactly the same, but will still be nice.
When the kiddo loses a privilege like dessert over misbehavior, these days she exclaims that "it's not fair!"
When I was a kid, I thought that fairness meant everyone gets the same thing. Now I've come to believe that fairness means that everyone getting getting what they need. I'm just having a hell of a time making the kid understand it.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Managing to get tickets AND babysitting for a movie night with hubby next week.
2. Lots of encouragement for my purging before-and-after
3. Being proud of kiddo doing well in the new level of TKD classes that she got promoted to.
4. TV shows coming off their winter hiatuses (hiatii?)
5. Foot rub from the husband while we watched TV
Looking forward to:
Chinese New Year. Made plans to see family, and other Singaporeans. It's not exactly the same, but will still be nice.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Day 48
Something learned:
Thought patterns that make purging hard for me:
1. I might need this.
2. This is still worth something
3. If I throw this out, I'll never remember XYZ.
Some solutions that work for me:
1. It's replaceable, and husband is ok with buying the replacement if I need it. OR I've had this for 10 years now and never needed it. (Sad that it's gone that long for some stuff...)
2. Give it away. I don't need the money, but it's not going to trash.
3. Photograph, scan or document, then toss. Someday I'll have to address the digital hoard though.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The kid enjoying her clean room so much that she spent the day playing with all the different things she's forgotten she had.
2. Dim sum lunch
3. Having the afternoon free to whittle down my todo list to just 1 item.
4. Watching Vikings with the husband. (http://www.history.com/shows/vikings/about)
5. Clean house! Clean house! Purging is pretty amazing when accompanied by mad organization to create open space that you've missed.
Looking forward to:
Long weekend for me and the kid.. unfortunately the husband has to work.
Thought patterns that make purging hard for me:
1. I might need this.
2. This is still worth something
3. If I throw this out, I'll never remember XYZ.
Some solutions that work for me:
1. It's replaceable, and husband is ok with buying the replacement if I need it. OR I've had this for 10 years now and never needed it. (Sad that it's gone that long for some stuff...)
2. Give it away. I don't need the money, but it's not going to trash.
3. Photograph, scan or document, then toss. Someday I'll have to address the digital hoard though.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The kid enjoying her clean room so much that she spent the day playing with all the different things she's forgotten she had.
2. Dim sum lunch
3. Having the afternoon free to whittle down my todo list to just 1 item.
4. Watching Vikings with the husband. (http://www.history.com/shows/vikings/about)
5. Clean house! Clean house! Purging is pretty amazing when accompanied by mad organization to create open space that you've missed.
Looking forward to:
Long weekend for me and the kid.. unfortunately the husband has to work.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Day 47
Something learned:
Love life. LIVE life. I totalled my car in 2000 and I thought I was going to die. Instead, I walked away.
I learned that it was important to live without regrets -- the chance to did things may never come.
I watched the movie About Time tonight and it had a similar message to savor life. Lovely movie by the way.
Plan for tomorrow, but don't put off being truly happy.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Husband taking the kid to swim class so I could do purging at home.
2. Husband watching kid while I got to play games with The Wise Guys
3. Lunch with Boon .. Haven't seen him in a couple of years!
4. Husband bringing kid to Griffith so I had the whole afternoon to spring clean.
5. Dinner with the family
Looking forward to:
More spring cleaning tomorrow. Feels so good to simplify!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Day 46
Something learned:
I think some of life's broken commitments may be caused by not being honest with oneself. My desk often has a lot of stuff on it. Mostly because those things had no place to be except in that transitory place of "on the desk to be taken care of". During my big purge earlier this month, I faced up to the fact of the nature of the stuff on the desk and gave them all homes. I have baskets for incoming things that I don't want to deal with every day -- kid's art, paperwork to file, and receipts. A envelope for the kid's stuff. A space for stuff that I need to bring to other rooms. Now there's someplace for it all to go and my desk is unbelievably (to me) clear.
To accomplish that took strangely enough, my admission that these are the things I want to keep, so I need to find places for them. I suppose it's another way of phrasing "A Place for Everything and Everything in its Place", but pithy sayings, while true, often are hard to understand and make relevant in one's personal context.
So here's to a desk without clutter and broken commitments.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Having saved my old Livejournal posts offline when I found that the archives now only go back 4 years or so.
2. Violins being light. It cost less than $8 to trade in Audrey's.
3. My employer generally operating on the principle that employees make reasonable choices. It makes me feel respected.
4. The kid enjoying her introduction to the WiiFit
5. Dinner at Benihana with the family
Something I'm looking forward to:
I joined a facebook group that challenges me to purge stuff. Looking forward to seeing how much I can get rid of.
I think some of life's broken commitments may be caused by not being honest with oneself. My desk often has a lot of stuff on it. Mostly because those things had no place to be except in that transitory place of "on the desk to be taken care of". During my big purge earlier this month, I faced up to the fact of the nature of the stuff on the desk and gave them all homes. I have baskets for incoming things that I don't want to deal with every day -- kid's art, paperwork to file, and receipts. A envelope for the kid's stuff. A space for stuff that I need to bring to other rooms. Now there's someplace for it all to go and my desk is unbelievably (to me) clear.
To accomplish that took strangely enough, my admission that these are the things I want to keep, so I need to find places for them. I suppose it's another way of phrasing "A Place for Everything and Everything in its Place", but pithy sayings, while true, often are hard to understand and make relevant in one's personal context.
So here's to a desk without clutter and broken commitments.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Having saved my old Livejournal posts offline when I found that the archives now only go back 4 years or so.
2. Violins being light. It cost less than $8 to trade in Audrey's.
3. My employer generally operating on the principle that employees make reasonable choices. It makes me feel respected.
4. The kid enjoying her introduction to the WiiFit
5. Dinner at Benihana with the family
Something I'm looking forward to:
I joined a facebook group that challenges me to purge stuff. Looking forward to seeing how much I can get rid of.
Friday, January 10, 2014
Day 45
Something learned:
Letting something bother you to the point that you have to complain about it to someone else just compounds the negative feelings. It recycles it and makes you feel them all over again. Let them go (which is different from suppressing them) and move on and you will feel happier.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The kid confiding in me about her day, including an incident where her classmate was rough with her and she asserted herself.
2. No meltdowns
3. The kid being excited when she saw the violinists in Lord of the Dance.
4. The time I spent trying to tune the kid's new violin paid off... the teacher didn't adjust anything!
5. Finally finding the Wii game I spent an hour searching for.
Letting something bother you to the point that you have to complain about it to someone else just compounds the negative feelings. It recycles it and makes you feel them all over again. Let them go (which is different from suppressing them) and move on and you will feel happier.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The kid confiding in me about her day, including an incident where her classmate was rough with her and she asserted herself.
2. No meltdowns
3. The kid being excited when she saw the violinists in Lord of the Dance.
4. The time I spent trying to tune the kid's new violin paid off... the teacher didn't adjust anything!
5. Finally finding the Wii game I spent an hour searching for.
Looking forward to:
Seeing a couple of different friends over the weekend, and possibly a star party at Griffith Observatory.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Day 44
Something learned:
I listened to this radio show on NPR (http://www.npr.org/2013/12/20/255744345/can-autism-be-an-asset) and teared up at some things that this lady said. It feels so much like she understands me. I don't think I'm on the autistic spectrum, but I do remember my parents being concerned enough to bring me to the doctor when I was little to find out "why I don't talk much". I told the doctor (as honestly as I could) that I'm afraid to say things when I could be wrong.
But 2 things in particular stood out for me. Firstly, I need specificity. Without specificity in my tasks, I tend to flounder without even knowing why. In recent years, I've coped better by creating my own specificity, but sometimes when I don't realize that's what I'm lacking, it's a struggle. It's also why I excel at fixing bugs or solving puzzles, because there's a very specific goal.
Secondly, I also don't think in words. That makes it difficult to make impromptu speeches, debate, argue, answer questions, explain concepts.. practically all forms of communications. I have to stop and translate the mental concepts I have in my head into words to express myself, and it slows me down, sometimes trips me up altogether.
Just a couple of things I've learned about myself that I don't seem to have in common with others, but that Temple Grandin seems to understand.
Today I was thankful for:
1. A short email exchange with a distant relative, in which I learned that my grandfather was a good artist
2. My friend Sharon coming back to work
3. Sharon giving me a pressed-penny album page for the kid
4. Singing
5. Having time to finally finish that library book
A hope:
I hope I get to celebrate Chinese New Year with folks who love the holiday as much as I do. I miss that.
I listened to this radio show on NPR (http://www.npr.org/2013/12/20/255744345/can-autism-be-an-asset) and teared up at some things that this lady said. It feels so much like she understands me. I don't think I'm on the autistic spectrum, but I do remember my parents being concerned enough to bring me to the doctor when I was little to find out "why I don't talk much". I told the doctor (as honestly as I could) that I'm afraid to say things when I could be wrong.
But 2 things in particular stood out for me. Firstly, I need specificity. Without specificity in my tasks, I tend to flounder without even knowing why. In recent years, I've coped better by creating my own specificity, but sometimes when I don't realize that's what I'm lacking, it's a struggle. It's also why I excel at fixing bugs or solving puzzles, because there's a very specific goal.
Secondly, I also don't think in words. That makes it difficult to make impromptu speeches, debate, argue, answer questions, explain concepts.. practically all forms of communications. I have to stop and translate the mental concepts I have in my head into words to express myself, and it slows me down, sometimes trips me up altogether.
Just a couple of things I've learned about myself that I don't seem to have in common with others, but that Temple Grandin seems to understand.
Today I was thankful for:
1. A short email exchange with a distant relative, in which I learned that my grandfather was a good artist
2. My friend Sharon coming back to work
3. Sharon giving me a pressed-penny album page for the kid
4. Singing
5. Having time to finally finish that library book
A hope:
I hope I get to celebrate Chinese New Year with folks who love the holiday as much as I do. I miss that.
Day 43
Something learned:
My daughter had a meltdown but she was able to speak somewhat coherently as she sat tearful and sniffing while recovering. We talked about the big feelings that she was having, and she expressed frustration at not being able to control them. I empathized and reminded her that we all have the same feelings from time to time, and that in time she would learn to not let them completely take over. I think it made it a lot easier for both of us to deal with it, knowing that her feelings were valid and that she can and will get better at staying in control. Also, I must remember that getting her some water to drink will help her calm down.
I had huge meltdowns as a kid myself, but I don't think they were the same kind that she's having, so I haven't yet figured out how to avert them.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The phone calls I had to make to billing departments seeming to accomplish what I had hoped.
2. Successfully giving away the whole Rock Band set. Either it's really hard to give away stuff, or I'm not making it clear that it's for free and not sale.
3. That amazing feeling looking around the decluttered living area. It's so empty I feel like we're moving out.
4. Socal weather.
5. Reading this article online that made me very thankful that hubby turned out to be a great dad. http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/doyin-richards-cops-abuse-from-fellow-fathers-for-posting-photo-while-tending-to-his-daughters/story-fnet085v-1226797131017
A hope:
Ride an Alpine Coaster some day. It looks scary but fun.
My daughter had a meltdown but she was able to speak somewhat coherently as she sat tearful and sniffing while recovering. We talked about the big feelings that she was having, and she expressed frustration at not being able to control them. I empathized and reminded her that we all have the same feelings from time to time, and that in time she would learn to not let them completely take over. I think it made it a lot easier for both of us to deal with it, knowing that her feelings were valid and that she can and will get better at staying in control. Also, I must remember that getting her some water to drink will help her calm down.
I had huge meltdowns as a kid myself, but I don't think they were the same kind that she's having, so I haven't yet figured out how to avert them.
Today I was thankful for:
1. The phone calls I had to make to billing departments seeming to accomplish what I had hoped.
2. Successfully giving away the whole Rock Band set. Either it's really hard to give away stuff, or I'm not making it clear that it's for free and not sale.
3. That amazing feeling looking around the decluttered living area. It's so empty I feel like we're moving out.
4. Socal weather.
5. Reading this article online that made me very thankful that hubby turned out to be a great dad. http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/doyin-richards-cops-abuse-from-fellow-fathers-for-posting-photo-while-tending-to-his-daughters/story-fnet085v-1226797131017
A hope:
Ride an Alpine Coaster some day. It looks scary but fun.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Day 30
Something learned:
It took many years to learn that I should trust my body. Instead of dieting eat properly and stop when not hungry. Instead of buying thicker shoes, wear thinner ones and walk with less impact. My milk is good enough for the baby. Get regular sleep and caffeine is unnecessary. I've come to trust my body's systems, that if I treat it properly, it will work well without much modification. Drink water. Eat more veggies and less sugar. Be active. Sleep. Pay attention to pain.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Beautiful (i.e. warm) December weather in LA
2. Finally getting lucky and getting past that level in Candy Crush
3. Surviving the pre-holiday post-office crush
4. Making yummy christmas cookies with the kid
5. Having fun playing the Laser Maze game that I won as a prize from Thinkfun.
A hope:
That my kid will find her passions and chase them fearlessly.
It took many years to learn that I should trust my body. Instead of dieting eat properly and stop when not hungry. Instead of buying thicker shoes, wear thinner ones and walk with less impact. My milk is good enough for the baby. Get regular sleep and caffeine is unnecessary. I've come to trust my body's systems, that if I treat it properly, it will work well without much modification. Drink water. Eat more veggies and less sugar. Be active. Sleep. Pay attention to pain.
I've been lucky to be healthy, so I shouldn't make a problem where there isn't one.
Today I was thankful for:
1. Beautiful (i.e. warm) December weather in LA
2. Finally getting lucky and getting past that level in Candy Crush
3. Surviving the pre-holiday post-office crush
4. Making yummy christmas cookies with the kid
5. Having fun playing the Laser Maze game that I won as a prize from Thinkfun.
A hope:
That my kid will find her passions and chase them fearlessly.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Day 42
I took a week+ off to recharge and to tackle spring cleaning at home. Will post before and after pictures -- am rather proud of myself :)
Something learned:
I'm struggling with teaching my perfectionist daughter this -- not to let fear of failure prevent you from tackling something. I've spent a lot of time myself staring at projects, paralyzed and unable to begin because I can't see the complete correct path. But I've learned the truth of "perfection is the enemy of progress"
Strangely enough, when untangling giant knots, or solving a Rubik's cube, I'm quite content to pick away at it for ever until it's done, but perhaps because I know I'm always moving over the landscape towards the global maximum. There's no fear of failure in those endeavors.
I think I procrastinate on starting many other projects though, until I have mentally rehearsed the progression enough to be fairly certain of success. I've lined up a quilt, rag doll, scrapbooks, video compilations, just to name a few of these un-started projects (despite materials being already accumulated).
Time to start making progress!
Today I was thankful for:
1. Being in that tiny sliver of the country that is not experiencing freezing temperatures.
2. Lots of people accepting my purged-but-still-loved items so that I didn't have to bring them to Goodwill.
3. Google lunches. I never thought I'd miss salad.
4. Managing to get to inbox zero for both work and personal mailboxes.
5. Husband making dinner so I could finish working on a puzzle competition
A hope:
Would like to visit another new state or two in 2014. I'm making progress to getting to all 50!
Something learned:
I'm struggling with teaching my perfectionist daughter this -- not to let fear of failure prevent you from tackling something. I've spent a lot of time myself staring at projects, paralyzed and unable to begin because I can't see the complete correct path. But I've learned the truth of "perfection is the enemy of progress"
Strangely enough, when untangling giant knots, or solving a Rubik's cube, I'm quite content to pick away at it for ever until it's done, but perhaps because I know I'm always moving over the landscape towards the global maximum. There's no fear of failure in those endeavors.
I think I procrastinate on starting many other projects though, until I have mentally rehearsed the progression enough to be fairly certain of success. I've lined up a quilt, rag doll, scrapbooks, video compilations, just to name a few of these un-started projects (despite materials being already accumulated).
Time to start making progress!
Today I was thankful for:
1. Being in that tiny sliver of the country that is not experiencing freezing temperatures.
2. Lots of people accepting my purged-but-still-loved items so that I didn't have to bring them to Goodwill.
3. Google lunches. I never thought I'd miss salad.
4. Managing to get to inbox zero for both work and personal mailboxes.
5. Husband making dinner so I could finish working on a puzzle competition
A hope:
Would like to visit another new state or two in 2014. I'm making progress to getting to all 50!
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Out with the old, in with the new
As New Year's Day comes to a close, I'm still on a haitus from my One Fantastic Year postings because I took the week off work to have the bandwidth for things I normally don't. But I'll spend a few minutes summing up last year and looking forward to next.
Highlights of 2013:
My kid started school. I visited my family for Chinese New Year, and attended my cousin's wedding. Ran a 10k, took a songwriting class, competed in a bunch of puzzle games, visited some new states, made some new friends.
A few priorities for 2014:
A few priorities for 2014:
- Husband
- Daughter: more patience
- Friends and family: reach out more
- Simplify: own and do less
- Creativity: write, make pictures
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