Day 95

Something learned:

As a kid, I didn't practice piano very much. I was reasonably good at computers and chess, and took part in math competitions because it was something my brain worked well in. I did things I was good at, and dropped what I wasn't. As a result, I never actually worked hard at something I wasn't good at. I never practiced at something just to attain a passably decent skill level.

Now I push myself to struggle and practice (e.g. in singing), because I'm trying to teach my child the value of practice. I keep her playing her violin and taekwondo even though she knows she isn't good, because she has been told that practice will get her to improve. She is not relying on natural talent, and I believe that this will make her resilient. More resilient than me at least.

Just tonight I confessed to my husband that I didn't think I could draw very well, and he pointed out that it's not something I practice. I know he's right. It's not just about innate skill, and hopefully my child will learn this lesson better than me.

Today I was thankful for:

1. A nice quiet day at home
2. When I asked the game store clerk about Titanfall, he asking me whether I worked on the game. Equality!
3. Got a new Zumba game to work out with at home.
4. Wrote and drew a bunch today
5. Cleared and rearranged 3 cubbies of our shelving unit

Looking forward to:

Bringing the kid to the orchestra tomorrow

Day 94

Something learned:

Make it easy for someone to help, and they will. 

People are busy, and do not have time to read a long essay and try and decipher what it is you need of them. When I email a person with a request, I write concisely and try to be very specific about what information or action I'm asking for. I believe that people generally enjoy being helpful, after all.

When I employ this tactic with customer service, I find it gets my point across effectively and occasionally even gets me some freebies.

So far so good!

Today I was thankful for:

1. Meeting my main work goals for the quarter
2. Getting the hotel reservation I was hoping for. Disneyland here we come!
3. The kid bringing home her valentine's day candy. Mmmm
4. Reconnecting with an old friend
5. Husband finding me a 3s clone to play

Looking forward to:

I made a fitness plan. Hope I'll be able to stick to it!

Day 93

Something learned:

The way to get what you want out of life is to know what you want. And then always be working towards it.

I think I was about ten when I answered the question, "What do you want to be in life?" with "Happy."

It's still true today. Granted, it's more complicated than having an infinite amount of chocolate and getting foot rubs. Happiness for me, is a number of things -- family, friends, experiences, accomplishments, a stress-free life, lifelong learning, fulfilling all my roles (daughter, sister, mother, wife) well. I don't want to be rich or famous. I want to live in a way that's consistent with my values.

I don't presume that everybody has the same goal in life, but I do believe that each person's life will be more satisfying if they knew what their goal was, and allow it to guide them in their choices.

Today I was grateful for:

1. The key fob still working despite being left in the pocket of the jeans I washed yesterday
2. Realizing that I was NOT 30 minutes late for the meeting, but rather 30 minutes early.
3. Free chocolates from Google
4. Purging the freezer, lots of space in there now
5. Husband getting the info for how to reproduce our wedding cake

Looking forward to:

Taking a day off on Friday. All for myself :D

Day 92

Something learned:

Secrets and surprises are completely different things.

A secret is when you conceal something, often for the purpose of staying out of trouble.

A surprise is something that you intend to reveal later, usually for the purpose of delighting someone.

It sometimes still shocks me that I didn't learn this until so late in life. We have a no secrets rule in our house. I can go further into why, but that's a post for another day. Surprises are awesome, but secrets are not allowed. And this definition is simple enough that even my kid can tell the difference.

Today I was thankful for:

1. More than half of the kid's summer has now been registered for.
2. Getting the tax stuff off to the accountant.
3. Free donut.
4. Finding enough stuff at home for kid's food drive at school
5. Hubby coming home and taking over stuff since I was in too much pain to get out of bed

Looking forward to:

Tomorrow. Some days, they exist to make the next day seem so much better. Today's one of those days.

Day 91

Something learned:

In Chinese, the words for mental illness translate as "spirit disease", as in ghostly spirits. Basically, mental issues are not well understood or tolerated. Either you were perfectly normal, or you were crazy, there was no social acceptance of any degree of mental struggles. No depression. No syndromes. No disorders. There is batshit insane (and locked up in an asylum), and there is normal (and you deal with everything yourself).

I remember first realizing this mentality of mine when talking to a friend in college in the US about a certain traumatic incident in my past, and he suggested seeking therapy for it. My instinctive reaction was, "A psychiatrist? That's only for crazy people!" I never did seek therapy for that issue, but it took me many years to work through it. Many destructive, emotionally wasted years.

Much later in life, I saw a counselor for the first time for a completely unrelated issue, and for a few weeks, I had a skilled, impartial professional guiding me through a rough period, helping me unravel the mental tangle I had gotten myself into. By then, my viewpoint on psychiatric therapy had done a complete reversal. It was brought into even sharper relief during a discussion I had with someone from home. It was about a person whose self-destructive symptoms were being treated, but not her depression, and it seemed obvious to me that it should be, but my conversation partner was not so convinced, and dismissed it as "holistic treatment" which back home is synonymous with "quack medicine".

I had come from a place where I thought I was so broken, and struggled to stay whole against the world. I found my strength inside of me, and understand now that the root of my happiness and sanity lie at a strong, integrated mental and emotional core. The difference is night and day, and I feel sad that so many dismiss psychiatric treatment as only for "completely insane people", while they struggle internally with their issues, that manifest in so many obstacles and limits against a happy and fulfilling life.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Getting space for the kid in Lego, Scratch and game design summer camps
2. Chocolate ice cream and Oreo chunks at work
3. All my work for this quarter's launch is out for review and it's still February
4. Finding out my lost credit card is safely at the restaurant

5. Hubby being willing set up the new Nest thermostat as well as retrieve my wayward credit card

Looking forward to:

Just booked a one night farmstay. W00t!

Day 90

Something learned:

I heard a great line at a talk the other day. "In Hollywood, ideas are like sperm." There are a million of them for every one that makes it, and that one had to go a long way to get there.

I particularly liked that line because I used to think good ideas were the secret to success, and not just in Hollywood. Eventually I came to understand that ideas are actually rather worthless because so many of them don't get that backbreaking work put in on that long journey with no promises, and they just die an idea, nothing more.

The ability to complete a project, or successfully resolve a series of problems in pursuit of a goal, is ultimately far more important than just having ideas.

Today I was thankful for :

1. Finally fixing our TiVo
2. Spending time with my cousin P.
3. Getting a ton of good info at the summer camp fair
4. Some alone time to fold laundry and watch a DVD
5. A very sweet gift from my daughter, just because

Looking forward to:

Summer and wearing skirts!

Day 89

Something learned:

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. The key to being able to take advantage of opportunities when they come your way, is by doing your preparation will you wait for them.

If you want a career in a certain field, you don't wait till you see the job ad before you get relevant training. In fact, I wanted to work in computers before software engineering existed as a career, and I spent a whole lot of my youth programming. So when the technology boom happened, my luck happened.

I spend a lot of effort on being prepared. To me, it's worth it to avoid possible bad luck. Your mileage may vary.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Hubby driving out to pick up lunch while I did chores
2. Kid enjoying the climbing gym
3. A patient kid while at an incredibly slow restaurant

4. Awesome (but expensive) ice cream at Ben & Jerry's.. new flavor Hazed and Confused

5. Finding and buying some awesome custom LEGO minifigs on ebay

Looking forward to:

Dropping off the kid for Climb time in the future and having 2 hours of adult time!

Day 88

Something learned:

Have your own goals. Success is achieving your own goals -- not measured by society's standards.

When you have your own goals, whether financial, career, personal, etc, you get to determine your own success. Know yourself, and you will be free yourself from resentment of others' expectations of you. Whatever you achieve, is because you have chosen to.

I've made my career choices this way since I was 16 and it has served me well. I saw no personal fulfillment in becoming a lawyer, or doctor, or financier, and I've been so happy being a programmer.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Successfully helping a friend with a spreadsheet problem and she called me a genius... But it was just programming
2. Getting a free copy of an interesting sounding novel at an author's talk by Jerry Stahl
3. A friend's husband taking the time to answer my questions about trusts
4. Free time this evening to do puzzles
5. Kid volunteering to perform with her violin in school next week. So freaking adorable

Looking forward to:

Mailing off that massive packet of tax papers to our accountant.

Day 87

Something learned:

What to look for in a partner? When I was young, I thought that dating someone came down to a choice between looks and personality. Now I don't know how I could have ever thought it was that simple.

As I got older, experience taught me that I wanted someone who was honest (that I could trust) and strong (determination). I eventually condensed that to integrity, in both senses of the word -- being honest, as well as doing and being everything that he decides to be.

Along the way, I learned about values (family, personal development, financial etc) and the importance of sharing them with one's spouse. As you combine your lives, if your major priorities are not somewhat aligned, life can get very difficult.

Lastly, it occurred to me that planning a wedding together is the ultimate test of whether you and your future spouse are able to work together on a stressful, complex project. It will be a good indicator of how well you might weather the tough times together. It's always better to find out BEFORE making the commitment.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Finally getting together a hundred sheets of paper or so to hand off to our account for this year's taxes.
2. Kiddo cleaning up her room
3. Hubby doing everything on the chore list I handed him this evening
4. Kiddo declaring that she loves reading (she finished Ivy & Bean in an hour tonight)
5. Hubby making me a bowl of ice cream just because I asked

Looking forward to:

A trip to Providence restaurant sometime soon. Mmmm.

Day 86

Something learned:

There's a difference between a reason and an excuse. A reason explains something, but an excuse is an attempt to avoid accepting blame.

Don't do excuses, accept blame, then work to fix the problems. That is the respectable way to recover from mistakes.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Coming up with an alternative to swimming with turtles alone
2. My singing coach starting to offer Skype lessons
3. Hubby being very understanding about me accidentally leaving the freezer door open
4. Hubby successfully making me feel better about my carelessness by asking if I would be mad if he did it.
5. Hubby being supportive of me going shellfish foraging

Looking forward to:

Someday swimming with my family with whale sharks.

Day 85

Something learned:

When I was pregnant and researching breastfeeding, an unmarried male coworker asked in sincere surprise, "Isn't formula just as good?" Well, I was raised on formula, as were all my siblings. My mother was from a generation that considered formula as the modern, superior choice, and prior to getting pregnant, I simply assumed too that I would use formula.

When I became pregnant, I started researching all manner of things that I never even knew about, and made my choices based on available research, with a little mother's instinct thrown in. Many of those choices are completely different from what my parents did, or what is shown on TV or in movies as the norm. I have no regrets, and in some cases, fortunate to even learn about, the choices I did.

It's okay to be a self-made parent.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Made it for bacon and a pinch of hash browns at breakfast
2. Lotsa packages at work.
3. Finding some significant bugs when I was assigned to bugbash.
4. Another free batch of stuff from Google
5. Hubby watching the kid while I attend a film festival showing

Looking forward to:

Snuggling with family.

Day 84

Something learned:

A few years ago, I took a seminar that explained that a child's primary emotional goal is to achieve belonging and significance.

I give my child belonging by loving her unconditionally. She knows that I can sometimes be mad at her, but I'll never stop loving her. It's her emotional bedrock.

I give her significance by listening to what she has to say. I hold fast to my job of keeping her safe and keeping her behavior appropriate (i.e. parenting), but what she has to say is important enough for me to listen and respond to.

She's pretty confident and secure, guess it's worked for her so far.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Sleeping in
2. Relaxed day with family
3. Making progress on purging stuff
4. Clearing my whole weekend todo list
5. Hubby getting me ice cream

Looking forward to:

Watching one of my best friends from high school in a movie tomorrow.

Day 83

Something learned:

Someone recently told me that I was modest, when I tried to reframe the description of one of my achievements.

Upon reflection, I'm wasn't being modest, but rather defensive. Since young, I've had strong ability in a few narrow areas, and was fortunate enough to have some opportunities to excel. Over the years, I learned that any mention of achievements is more likely to create jealousy than goodwill. Such is life.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Waking up without having gotten kicked in the night
2. Spending money to support someone being victimized by King/Candy Crush
3. Umami burger lunch
4. Getting my travel plans for South Carolina straightened out
5. Afternoon with family

Looking forward to:

My upcoming conference in South Carolina. Have never been to that state!

Day 82

Something learned:

Marriage is a partnership. You need to be able to lean on each other, but also support each other's needs, wants, and work hard at it.

Hubby will get me chocolate ice cream if I'm asking for it while bundled up on the couch. He will leave work early to watch the kid so I can go off to chorus practice, or fly off for 3 days for a conference. He went along with everything I had planned for our day together and had a great time.

In return I keep the household running smoothly, I plan stuff that keep our lives fun and exciting, and I try my best to keep us all safe.

Happy.

Today I was thankful for:

1. In-laws who love the grandkid enough to babysit her for the weekend
2. A happy and confident kid
3. A whole day to just be with the husband
4. Great conversation with the husband
5. Successfully recapturing that relaxed, carefree, playful dating feeling

Looking forward to:

Having my kid back. And doing this adults-only retreat thing again.

Day 81

Something learned:

For me, I knew I found love when the relationship wasn't difficult. Which isn't to say it didn't take work, but it wasn't a soul-wrenching, painful experience like in previous relationships. Being with my husband was like being home. I trusted him. We were partners. We had fun together. We were different people but we made accommodations. And our marriage was a commitment to each other. That means doing the necessary work (and more!) to keep the relationship healthy, supporting them, accepting them, working together for common goals,

Happy Valentine's Day, Hubby.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Having breakfast with Hubby and kid at work
2. Seeing the kid be brave enough to have a conversation with the guy feeding the fish at work
3. Finding the book I wanted at the library
4. Friends alerting me that my twitter account was hacked so that the damage was hopefully limited.
5. Avoiding Jamzilla AND the weird Valentine's Day Westside Traffic Jam. (VDWTJ takes me 1.5h to go 5 miles)

Looking forward to:

Many more years with hubby.

Day 80

Something learned:

If someone has a natural knack for something, they may not have any insight into why another person has difficulty with the same thing. It's the person who struggled for understanding and worked hard to obtain clarity, that can best empathize and help their student.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Confirmation from GEICO that they found in my favor for the accident.
2. An email from the kid's teacher praising her efforts this week.
3. Finding at work a stash of the junk snack that I've been craving
4. Kiddo focusing well in both her classes
5. Watching Captain Phillips with the hubby

Looking forward to:

Valentine's Day with the hubby :)

Day 79

Something learned:

I was very passive growing up. Sometime after college, when I was in a car accident and spent hours waiting in "urgent care" to be seen, a friend's mom explained that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease."

Basically, in order to get something, sometimes, you need to ask, otherwise you might get ignored.

The kid has learned to ask for things since she could speak, even though service staff sometimes don't even register that she's speaking to them. It's good for her though, since I was so shy in school, I only ever ordered food in the cafeteria that didn't require me to say more than two words, and I would order from the same vendor EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I know how to squeak now.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Yummy halibut at lunch
2. All clear from my annual physical bloodwork
3. My insurance company reassuring me of their support
4. Hubby being home on time
5. Text from dad

Looking forward to:

Day off with kid soon.

Day 78

Something learned:

I wasn't taught or encouraged to be independent, growing up. "Grownups talking, children don't interrupt" was what I was told. Along the way, I lost my voice, figuratively. It got so bad that my parents brought me to the pediatrician to find out why I hardly spoke. As best as I could figure, I told her that I didn't speak for fear of being wrong. She seemed relieved at that and responded that it's ok to be wrong. And nothing else was ever done about it.

Today, as a parent, one of the goals I support my child in, is to provide her belonging and significance. Significance is developed through positive attention and power, by listening.

I ask her questions, and I listen to her words.

I get frustrated when she refuses to pose for photos sometimes. I remember that I want her to have her voice, and to know that she always has the power to say no. When someone who is not me tries to make her do something she does not want to, she will know to say no. So I let her say no to me. Because when I was six or seven, I did not know to say no, and no one else was able to protect me. I couldn't say no for a long time. And when I did, it may well the best thing I ever did for myself.

But I will still make the child keep to her bedtime.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Having my interview for next week cancelled.
2. Kid getting her Valentines all done for her classmates
3. Hubby coming home in time for me to go to chorus practice.
4. Being able to satisfy my Chu Qian Yi Ding cravings
5. Watched Ender's Game with hubby

Looking forward to:

Visiting South Carolina later this year.

Day 77

Something learned:

When I was a kid I thought that there was so much my parents didn't know or couldn't understand. Many years later, it's my turn.

She thinks she knows better than me about certain things, when she has no real understanding of how much knowledge she's lacking. Or she feels that I simply cannot understand her situation, when I've gone through the same social drama decades ago. I guess some things will never change :)

Today I was thankful for:

1. Got an annual check up done.
2. Dropped my poor car off for repair
3. Somehow the car rental came down from $55/day to $25/day. And they gave me a Nissan LEAF too.
4. Massage at work
5. Free grab bag of stationery from work

Looking forward to:

Spending time with the husband after he's done with his game

Day 76

Something learned:

My husband and I are only human, and occasionally, we occasionally are less than loving toward each other. However, I always try to keep in mind that we're on the same team. It's not about winning or losing, but resolving our differences in a respectful, non-hurtful manner. If he is stressed and snaps at me, instead of getting upset and retaliating, I try to stay calm, and point it out gently. The latter works a lot better.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Fun mother-daughter-outing to the Frozen Sing-a-long
2. Kiddo being able to calmly wander through Toys R Us and asking me to put things on her wishlist while other kids begged parents to put things in their carts
3. Hubby doing the groceries and laundry
4. Fun fondue dinner
5. Walking Dead returns!

Looking forward to:

Found a new dance studio up the street. Maybe I can take some dance lessons in the evening!

Day 75

Something learned:

"Do as I say, not as I do" is a horrible way to parent. My child is a thinker, she questions and challenges until she gets explanations that fit cohesively into the world view she has developed.

So I've learned to live my life in the way I want her to live. I can use myself as an example. I take lessons in things that interest and challenge me. I practice, I take risks, I make mistakes, I try harder, I show my fear but don't let it stop me. She sees all this and understands that I expect the same of her.

Some days, she ends up being my teacher. After my recent car accident, I told her that I felt a bit sad about the whole thing, and she shrugged it off saying "Mom, everyone makes mistakes. That's why we pay for insurance." She's FIVE!

I was interviewed by a lady recently about financial independence and she expressed surprise that I taught my child that we don't buy her every toy she wants because money needs to go to important things like housing and food etc. She says that many others just say No and leave it at that. My kid would never have left it at that.

Perhaps other parents dread the infinite chain of "why?"s. For me, the chain only went as far until we reached a premise that my daughter already agreed with. She wasn't asking why just to mindlessly extend a conversation, she was asking until it it made sense. And she forced me to make sure it all made sense to me too. I sort of miss them now.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Husband taking the kid to swimming so I could lie in bed
2. Seeing some folks I haven't seen in a while at the kiddo's friend's birthday
3. Watching LEGO movie with the family!
4. Yummy sushi for dinner
5. Got to finish watching the Dresden Files for free on Amazon. Such a fun show.

Looking forward to:

So many fun movies coming out...my to-watch-list is easily a dozen movies long.

Day 74

Something learned:

My mother told me that she thought I was a better mother than she was. I wonder if she thinks that because she feels my daughter is turning out better than I did. Maybe I'm bragging too much.

Or maybe because I'm putting so much effort into parenting. Which quite frankly, is more a result of not knowing what the heck I'm doing, and not having any role models at hand, so I'm doing my best to cover my bases.

Whatever the case, if I have learned anything, is that when it comes down to it, we're all just doing what we can. Every kid is different, every family, every situation is different. There's so many different ways of doing things. Just keep the kid safe, raise them well.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Locating a new pair of uniform pants for the kid since her pinafore has truly disappeared
2. Hubby finding a solution to the problem of me having left the kid's school-appropriate shoes at TKD class yesterday
3. Kiddo's Ren Fair bloomers that I bought from Etsy arrived and look awesome
4. The Real Escape game is coming back to LA. Can't wait to play again.
5. Kiddo entertaining herself giving me some down time this evening.

Something to look forward to:

I'm making a plan to write a book. Maybe a small book in the next year. Or maybe a real tome.. in the next 3 years? Getting published, well, that's a dream for another day.

Day 73

Something learned:

Life is too darned short to spend it around people who are angry or negative. I used to hang on to every person who passed through my life. As I got older, I finally understood that it's ok to let someone go if they bring less value than they cost. I don't like being around angry people, or people who swear or complain. Being around them affects my ability to be happy and costs me my peace of mind. I walk away, and am happier for it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Finding a new yummy new lunch place when I wandered out the office for food.
2. Sriracha sauce seems to be back in stock
3. Free donuts at work. Plus coupons for 3 more free donuts at the store.
4. Husband doing the dishes.
5. Chocolate ice cream lifting my grumpy mood.

Looking forward to:

There's so much I want to learn in life. I get to look forward to all of it! Here's some things I would love to learn:

• Urban running
• Trapeze, aerials, silks
• Pole dancing
• Tap dancing
• Belly dancing
• Flamenco
• Fly a plane
• Dry suit diving
• Rock climbing
• Graphic design
• Financial planning
• Photo editing
• Fancy cooking

Day 72

Something learned:

Today I got in an accident. My car is pretty damaged, but no one was hurt. There's some hassle involved in getting my car repaired, and goodness I'm gonna hate driving a gas car while that happens... but on the whole, it's been over 10 years since I was last hit, so I think that's pretty good.

I remember though, how I felt in previous car accidents -- pretty darned crappy, anxious, and downright disappointed in myself. Today I felt none of those. I felt somewhat annoyed that there's a whole cascade of things that will be added to my todo-list in order to take care of this, and I really don't want to drive a gas car, but on the whole, I'm not feeling like I've personally failed by having this accident.

I like this mental place that I'm in.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Free $25 of shopping
2. Free grocery grab bags at work
3. The insurance companies finding the other driver at fault for the accident.
4. Getting the piece of plywood I wanted for tap dance practice
5. Postcard from my best friend from when I was 6 years old.

Looking forward to:

Learning to tap dance in the comfort of my own home.

Day 71

Something learned:

An online friend was asking for relationship advice, because she felt like she was more invested than the other person in a relationship, and thus feeling like she's not as important to the other as they are to her.

It is a little frightening how close to home that description hits -- it could have been me saying that same thing in 2000. And in hindsight, the solution seems so simple -- to not make another person the source of your happiness. Happiness needs to come from within you. A good relationship enhances the strong foundation that comes from inside yourself, the relationship is not the foundation. Friends at the time only said "love yourself" and while they were not wrong, I wish they could have explained it a little better.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Kid being proud of herself for using her allowance to make a purchase on her own for the first time
2. My manager saying it'll be OK for me to attend a conference in SC
3. Srirarcha being back in stock in the cafeteria
4. Brownie dessert at work
5. Chocolate ice cream at home

Looking forward to:

I found a bunch of instructional tap videos online. Gonna try and learn :D

Day 70

Something learned:

"This too shall pass". This is a mantra I recited to myself a lot in the early days of parenthood. It's especially true when things are extraordinarily difficult. Things always change. The stuff I find tough will end, and other challenges will take their place. But remembering that "This too shall pass" makes it a little easier to get through the day, and not despair. And so far, it has always been true.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Kid's school holding a Q&A session where we could give feedback to the Head of School.
2. Finding 2 weeks of daycamp to cover kid's spring vacation

3. Getting a check in the mail for my broken phone

4. Getting the kid's first report card and it is very encouraging

5. Me time

Looking forward to:

Someday visiting Racetrack Playa to see the mysterious moving rocks.

Day 69

Something learned:

Many years ago when I was about 12 or 13, I was on the bus next to a lady who got into a conversation with me about my school. She found out that I was in the nationwide gifted program and she asked me how it was different from regular classes. I had no way of answering that question and it continued to nag at me. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable question, but I had only one point of view to work from after all.

The other thing that stayed with me from that conversation through the years was her asking me why I and my classmates should receive such special treatment (smaller classes, project work, etc) over all the other students in the country. I also had no answer for that at the time.

I continued to think about it over the years, and came to the conclusion that more educational resources were devoted to us as a sort of investment; that we were expected to pay back this debt to society by going on to achieve great things.

By that yardstick, I sometimes wondered if I failed expectations by firstly moving out of the country, and secondly by deciding to pursue a unextraordinary career path.

In recent years, after learning that fairness is less about everyone getting the same thing and more about everyone getting what they need, I've come to think that perhaps it was just fair that the GEP provided the type of educational environment that those kids needed, without which many would have probably languished in classrooms as the oddballs, the troublemakers or the overlooked.

Even so, those questions from a chance meeting on a bus one afternoon affected me more than I've realized. For years after that, I was always sensitive in making reference to the schools I was attending, for fear of resented, or coming across as elitist. I do that now with my kid's school for the same reason.

Thankfully I have peer groups where I can let down my guard and stop being so sensitive about it. Or maybe someday I'll just get over it.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Awesome brunch with family
2. Laughing till I was in tears and my belly ached when the kid accidentally sang "Happy Derpday to you" in derpy voice
3. The existence of allergy drugs that normally prevent me from being as miserable as I was today around the cats.
4. Delicious Superbowl snacks and food at the party.

5. Kid going to bed early, so I had a quiet evening

Looking forward to:

Only a few more weeks of hubby hogging the TV for his work every night...

Day 68

Something learned:

It won't matter if I spend more than half my lifetime in a different country. The place I grew up in will always be "home".

I can lose my accent, but it'll come back immediately when I start speaking to another person with the accent.

It can be 30 years later, but start singing a patriotic song, and I'll belt out the lyrics for you.

You can take the girl out of Singapore but you can't take the Singapore out of the girl.

Today I was thankful for:
1. Seeing many friends at V's birthday party
2. Getting to see a Korean choosing ceremony for the first time
3. Hubby taking the kid into the Page museum while I caught up on my todo list
4. Boon buying me Mamee from Guam
5. A fun Chinese New Year banquet with Club Singapura

Looking forward to:

Spending Sunday with family.

Day 67

Something learned:

There is no place like home. On a day where I was missing the festiveness of the Lunar New Year as celebrated in Singapore, I also learned that when given the chance to see any place in the world, the place that draws people most is to take a look at the house where they grew up in.

Until you've lived away from home, in a place far away and oh so different, it's hard to truly understand what homesickness is like. And learning to survive that I think, makes a person understand much more clearly what matters to their heart the most.

Today I was thankful for:

1. The Google Food team making a huge effort to mark Chinese New Year
2. Connecting a few more cousins on Facebook
3. A fun dinner with the family at Souplantation
4. Emptied out the todo list again
5. Getting some help from my aunt with fleshing out the family tree

Looking forward to:

Seeing a Korean first birthday celebration for the first time tomorrow.