Day 78

Something learned:

I wasn't taught or encouraged to be independent, growing up. "Grownups talking, children don't interrupt" was what I was told. Along the way, I lost my voice, figuratively. It got so bad that my parents brought me to the pediatrician to find out why I hardly spoke. As best as I could figure, I told her that I didn't speak for fear of being wrong. She seemed relieved at that and responded that it's ok to be wrong. And nothing else was ever done about it.

Today, as a parent, one of the goals I support my child in, is to provide her belonging and significance. Significance is developed through positive attention and power, by listening.

I ask her questions, and I listen to her words.

I get frustrated when she refuses to pose for photos sometimes. I remember that I want her to have her voice, and to know that she always has the power to say no. When someone who is not me tries to make her do something she does not want to, she will know to say no. So I let her say no to me. Because when I was six or seven, I did not know to say no, and no one else was able to protect me. I couldn't say no for a long time. And when I did, it may well the best thing I ever did for myself.

But I will still make the child keep to her bedtime.

Today I was thankful for:

1. Having my interview for next week cancelled.
2. Kid getting her Valentines all done for her classmates
3. Hubby coming home in time for me to go to chorus practice.
4. Being able to satisfy my Chu Qian Yi Ding cravings
5. Watched Ender's Game with hubby

Looking forward to:

Visiting South Carolina later this year.